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Golden News
Volume 17, Number 50 - Monday 7 June
2004
The official bulletin of the Rotary
Club of Kowloon Golden Mile is published
most Mondays and is distributed to all club members, District officials and to "friends of KGM". Winner "Best English Language Bulletin" in District 3450, 2001/2002 This Week's Meeting:
Our guest speaker this week is Ms. Chua Bee Leng, and the topic is
"Entrepreneurship in Hong
Kong".
++++++
From Under The Kitchen
Sink: Our spy in the Holiday Inn kitchen, Vincent "You Want Fries With That?" Lam,
informs us that this week's fare is Chinese
food (of course in China they just call it "food"):
Assorted dim sum platter, braised Kung Po style bean curd, baked chicken with onion and ginger, seasonal vegetables topped with black mushrooms, deep-fried chicken fillet topped with sweetened lime sauce, braised E-Fu noodles with chives and straw mushrooms, deep-fried sesame seed balls and chilled mango pudding. Milestones: Birthday greetings for: 08 June to June "Litigator" Liau, who shares her
birthday with singer Nancy Sinatra, daughter of "Ol' Blue
Eyes".
09 June to PP
Vince "Grumpy" Pinto, who shares his birthday with nubile
actress Natalie Portman.
12 June to Miranda "King" Kong, who shares her birthday
with former US President George Bush, father of Gee
Dubya.
++++++
KGM Induction Anniversary Greetings, go out to:
Diana "Choo-Choo" Chou & David "Party Dude" Harilela, who
were lovingly inducted together into KGM 5 years ago on 9 June
1999.
PE2B
Elissa "Mrs. T" Cohen, who was inducted into KGM
13 years ago on 12 June
1991 - yet another remarkable
achievement. Attendance Awards:
At our last regular club meeting, IPP Nanu "Nanu" Lachman recognised the following KGM members for achieving 100% attendance during his year as Club President (2002/2003): President Patricia Blair, PDG Dipo Sani, IPP Nanu Lachman, PP Joseph Kwan, PP C.K.Tsang, PP M.V. Ramadasan, PP Ebe Tung, PP Robin Ching, VP Elissa Cohen, PE Silva Yeung, Rtn Carola Chard, Rtn David Harilela and Rtn Miranda Kong. Semi-Annual Dues:
Yes folks, it's time once again to pay your dues of $1,500 for the period 1 July to 31 December 2004, and you have two payment options: 1) By cash handed directly to KGM Treasurer Rajiv "Show Me The Money" Makhija; 2) By cheque payable to "Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden
Mile" mailed to P.O.
Box 98129, Tsimshatsui, Kowloon.
If you elect to pay by cheque, remember to clearly write your name on the back of the cheque,
because our overworked and unpaid Treasurer doesn't always know which
company name belongs to which
member. Fellowship News - Two Events in
June:
It's LAST CALL for the annual Indian Night, to be graciously hosted by our generous Indian members from 7:30 p.m. on Friday 11 June 2004 at the Viceroy of India restaurant, 2/F Sun Hung Kai Centre, Wanchai. Female members are encouraged to wear Indian attire
(e.g. a sari).On the other hand, dopey male members are reminded that
the Indians in KGM do not wear war paint, they do not wear feathers in
their hats, and they don't shoot at "palefaces" while riding wild
stallions (although many are known to wager on them).
KGM members who will be attending MUST send a confirmation by email
to PP Nanu "Nanu" Lachman,
or telephone him on 2366
5555.
++ If you just turn up without warning, you will be spanked and sent to your room without any food. You have been warned. Note to Susie "Madam Lash" Misini: please bring your whip and wear that little black outfit with the strategically place cut-outs. Yee-haaaaaaaa! ++++++
According to our Cultural Attaché to
Dubai, Brian "Osama Bin Drinkin'"
Hodgson, the annual NINC
Night will be held from 7:00 p.m. on Saturday 19 June at (or quite possibly
"in"), the Rooftop Pool of the Holiday Inn Golden Mile.
Special thanks go to our old mate Ted "Basil" Durham, for his exceptional assistance with this event (not only has he actually dipped his toe in the water to check for Piranha, Ted is generously sponsoring our live music). We need more guys like Ted. As usual, the event is hosted by our enthusiastic NINC
members, which means that our Chinese and Indian members get in for free
(but please don't eat or drink too much, because all the NINCs are on
welfare).
Anyway, there will be a BBQ. There will be games. There
will be a quiz. There will be dancing girls. Well at least I hope
there'll be dancing girls .......
KGM members who will be attending should send a
confirmation by email
to Brian Hodgson, or call him on telephone 9191 7508.
International Service:
Our old mate David "Hip-Hop" Harilela has organised a
visit to the RC Shanghai from 25 to 27
June
2004.
David has negotiated a special price of only $5,388 per
person, which includes return economy class airfare on Dragonair, airport
transfers, deluxe twin-share accommodation at the Ritz Carlton Hotel
and breakfast. There's a surcharge for those who have personal
hygiene issues and need their own room.
If you're interested in attending, contact David on
telephone 9168 8333 or by email for further details.
District 3450 Events:
Still no juicy District gossip yet, and not much information about events for the new Rotary year either, except:
This space for rent. Call
1-800-SNOOZE for details. Rotary
International News:
New: Visit
the web pages of incoming RI President
Glenn E. Estess Jr. - here
New: Order
the Rotary Centennial book
online - here
New:
Download lots of other cool
stuff about the Rotary Centennial - here
Repeat:
June is Rotary International's Recreational
& Vocational Fellowships month ........ party
on!
In other RI news: 1. Learn about the various Rotary International Programs on the RI
website - details.
2. Read all about the ongoing plans for the
RI Centennial in 2005 -
details.
3. Visit the website of Rotary International President Jonathan Majiyagbe - details. Rotary Information: The Exchange of Club Banners: One of the colorful traditions of many Rotary clubs is the exchange of small banners, flags, or pennants. Rotarians traveling to distant locations often take banners to exchange at make-up meetings as a token of friendship. Many clubs use the decorative banners they have received for attractive displays at club meetings and district events. The Rotary International
Board recognized the growing popularity of the banner exchange back in
1959 and encouraged participating clubs to ensure that the design of their
banners is distinctive and expressive of the club’s community and country.
It is recommended that banners include pictures, slogans, or designs
portraying the territorial area of the club. The Board was also mindful of the financial burden
such exchanges may impose upon some clubs, especially in popular areas
where many visitors make up and request to exchange banners.
In all instances, clubs are cautioned to exercise discretion and moderation in the exchange of banners so that the financial obligations do not interfere with the basic service activities of the club. Exchanging club banners
is a very pleasant custom, especially when a creative and artistic banner
tells an interesting story of community pride. The exchange of banners is
a significant tradition of Rotary and serves as a tangible symbol of our
international fellowship.
KGM Note: Apart from the usual cloth-type club banners, we believe KGM is the first Rotary Club in the world to introduce cheap and environmentally-friendly Banner Postcard. If you've never seen them, ask the KGM President or Secretary for some samples. Geek
Speak:
Do you have a
"third level" domain name in
Hong Kong (e.g. mycompany.com.hk)?
Well, if you do, I
advise you to also register a "second
level" domain name equivalent (e.g. mycompany.hk). As you can see, a
"second-level" domain name simply uses "dot
hk" without the "com", "org" or "net" in the
middle.
To
check availability of the "second level" domain name you want and/or to
purchase one on-line, visit the website of the Hong Kong Domain Name
Registration company "HKDNR" and click on the flashing "New" arrow, or ask
your Internet Service Provider "ISP" (e.g. Pacificnet, Netvigator) to
assist you.
And, in case you're wondering, a "first level" domain name is one which
simply ends in "dot com", "dot org" or "dot net", such
as rckgm.org used by KGM,
but of course these days virtually all the great "first level" short names
have been taken. Golden Smile: Understanding the Female vocabulary: FINE: This is
the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and
you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this
will cause you to have one of those arguments.
FIVE
MINUTES: This is an hour in
real time. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is
going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even
trade.
NOTHING: This
means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually
used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside
out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument
that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"
GO
AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting
upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"
GO
AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows): This
means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get
a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing"
and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools
off.
LOUD
SIGH: This is not actually a
word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud
Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why
she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over
"Nothing"
SOFT
SIGH: Again, not a word, but a
nonverbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet
is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
THAT'S
OK: This is one of the most
dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's OK" means
that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever
it is that you have done. "That's OK" is often used with the word "Fine"
and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."
GO
AHEAD: At some point in the
near future, you're going to be in some mighty big trouble.
PLEASE
DO: This is not a statement,
it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever
excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You
have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a
"That's OK"
THANKS: A woman
is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.
THANKS
A LOT: This is much different
from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked
off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way,
and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is
wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you
"Nothing"
WE
NEED TO TALK: This is the female version of "I need to
complain", and will often be said after toilet seats are left in the
upright position, unfulfilling (for her) sex, in the event of forgotten
anniversaries etc. There is absolutely no defense. You're in deep doo-doo.
Don't say a word. Just hang your head in shame. Tears might
work.
Quotable Quotes:
"No matter what side of the argument you are on, you
always find people on your side that you wish were on the
other"
Jascha Heifetz Bumper Sticker Of The Week: If you want to save the bumper sticker for use in email or on a website, put your mouse pointer over the top, right-click, and select "Save Picture As". The
Phantom
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If you no longer wish to receive this bulletin each week, unsubscribe. For previous issues of the bulletin (or to view them in their full HTML glory), visit our archives. © 2004 Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile. All rights reserved. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed herein are those of the author (who is under heavy medication), and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of any other member of the club.