|
|
|
|
|
Golden News
Volume 17, Number 47 - Monday 17 May
2004
The official bulletin of the Rotary
Club of Kowloon Golden Mile is published
most Mondays and is distributed to all club members, District officials and to "friends of KGM". Winner "Best English Language Bulletin" in District 3450, 2001/2002 Return of The
Phantom:
As Mark Twain once said: "The rumours of my demise have
been greatly exaggerated", and the same applies to The Phantom.
No, I'm not dead. No, I haven't been in prison. And no,
I wasn't abducted by aliens. I've just been unbelievably busy over the
past two months and, frankly, I haven't worked this hard for twenty
years. If I wasn't travelling, I was inundated with overseas visitors
to Hong Kong, and all this was while I
was trying to juggle projects in three different cities.
Whew.
I guess I could've burnt the midnight oil and
produced a bulletin at least every other week but, to be perfectly
frank, I lost interest in the whole thing when, at the last meeting I
attended, a KGM member blurted out we have a "lousy
website", and other insults. You know who you are, and I urge you
not to do that again. Be nice, OK?
You see, I've been an Australian much
longer than I've been a Rotarian, and Australians can only turn
the other cheek and walk away so many times.
Anyway, I sincerely apologise to our Fearless Leader Patricia "Iron Lady" Blair
for letting her down over the past two months, eventhough she's aware of
"the incident". However I'm back in the saddle now, and I hope to
once again become a familiar face at our regular club meetings, and to
publish the Golden News each week.
This Week's
Meeting:
Our guest speaker this week is Mr. Steve Vines and the topic is
"Does Hong Kong need a satirical
magazine?".
++++++
From Under The Kitchen Sink: Our spy in the Holiday Inn kitchen, Vincent "The Galloping Gourmet" Lam, has probably given up on me, so I have no idea about this week's fare, other than to predict it will be served on plates. By the way, young Vincent is also looking for
suggestions for future meals, so email him with your suggestions. You
want fries with that?
Milestones: (Belated) Birthday greetings for: 12 May
to Vincent
"Bone Bender" Lam, who shares his birthday with the late,
but great, American actress Katharine Hepburn.
16 May
to PP Louis "Trailwalker" Thomas, who shares his 99th birthday with
the latest "007", British actor Pierce Brosnan.
++++++
KGM Induction Anniversary Greetings, go out to:
Mazhar "Bizarre"
Sultana, who was inducted into KGM 6 years ago on 13 May
1998.
Rajiv "The Treacherer"
Makhija, who was inducted into KGM 17 years ago on 20 May 1987 -
a fantastic
achievement!
Next BOD
Meeting - Tonight:
KGM BOD Members are reminded that the next BOD meeting will be held at 6:30 p.m. TONIGHT, Monday 17 May 2004, at the 2/F, Holiday Inn Golden Mile hotel. If you can't attend, call
KGM President Patricia "Iron Lady" Blair on 9312
3606 immediately, or you will be spanked (Brian
Hodgson - get that smile off your
face). Welcome to KGM: Being a bit out of touch with recent events at KGM
these welcomes are belated, but they are nonetheless sincere. We extend a
warm KGM welcome to our newest members:
Freda So of
Estee Lauder (HK) Limited ~ Tel: 2378 0628 ~ Email: fso@hk.aramis.com and
Phil
Stockton of Private Capital Limited ~ Tel: 2869 1996
~ Mobile: 6089 2458 ~ Email: stockton@private-capital.com.hk
If you've not already done so, please introduce
yourself to our new members and make them feel welcome.
Member News: Apparently our old mate Brian Hodgson won a speech contest recently.
Or maybe it was two months ago. Whatever.
Anyway, we're reliably informed it had something to do
with giving an impromptu speech on the subject of "Money", and the
story goes that Brian now goes forward to another contest and, if he wins
that, he'll represent Hong Kong at an international event.
Of course we suspect Brian would have trouble winning
any contest involving use of the Queen's English, although we're confident
he'd have no problem speaking with the cast of the movies "The
Full Monty" or "Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels". E bah goom!
Fellowship News:
I believe the NINC Night is rapidly looming, but I haven't got a clue when or where - somebody talk to me .......... Attendance - Group Make Up: Our impish old mate "Lady" Diana Yeung informs us that she's organised yet another Group Make Up on Thursday 27 May at the regular meeting of the RC Hong Kong Harbour, who meet 12:30pm at the world famous Zeffirino Restaurant, 31/F Regal Hong Kong Hotel, 88 Yee Wo Street, Causeway Bay. KGM Group Make Ups are the most fun thing you can do in
a group without having to remove your clothing, and are primarily
organised for KGM members who are falling behind in their attendance (you
know who you are).
Members interested in attending can obviously just show up, but it would be nice to forewarn Lady Diana by calling her on 9889 9908. Community Service:
Our bubbly Community Service Director Miranda "King" Kong informs us that she
has organised two
Free Medical Check For The Elderly
services as follows:
In Hong Kong on Sunday
30 May 2004 at Wai Ji Christian Service sheltered
Workshop, 1/F, U Hong House, U Chau Estate, Sham Shui Po. This event is
organised in conjunction with St Paul
Hospital and Wai Ji Christian
Service.
In Macau
on Sunday 6 June 2004 at a venue to be advised.
This event is organised in conjunction with the RC Hou Kuong.
KGM members interested in attending either or both of
these worthwhile event should contact Miranda by telephone on
9199 3077 or by email
pronto, especially as ferry tickets need to be finalised in
respect of the Macau event.
International Service: Our old mate David "Hip-Hop" Harilela has organised a
visit to the RC Shanghai from 25 to 27
June
2004.
David has negotiated a special price of only $5,388 per
person, which includes return economy class airfare on Dragonair, airport
transfers, deluxe twin-share accommodation at the Ritz Carlton Hotel
and breakfast. There's a surcharge for those who have terrible
personal hygiene and want their own room.
If you're interested in attending, contact David on
telephone 9168 8333 or by email for further details.
District 3450 Events:
Well I haven't heard any District gossip recently, so I'll just mention forthcoming events: This space for rent. Call
1-800-SNOOZE for details. Rotary
International News:
New: Read
about and see the new Rotary
International Theme for the 2004/2005 Rotary year
- details.
In other RI news: 1. Learn about the various Rotary International Programs on the RI
website - details.
2. Read all about the ongoing plans for the
RI Centennial in 2005 -
details.
3. Visit the website of Rotary International President Jonathan Majiyagbe - details. 4. Last
call for the 95th Rotary
International Convention in Osaka from 23-26
May, 2004 - new
website.
Rotary Information: Non-Attendance Rule: The Standard Rotary Club Constitution specifies three conditions under which a Rotarian’s membership will automatically be terminated for nonattendance. These circumstances are:
Under any of these three
cases, a member will lose Rotary membership unless the club board of
directors has previously consented to excuse such failure for good and
sufficient reason.
When a member misses four
consecutive regular meetings, the board will inform him or her that
nonattendance may be considered a request to terminate membership in the
club. Thereafter, the board, by a majority vote, may terminate his or her
membership.
To some individuals,
these rules may seem unusually rigid. However, being present at club
meetings is one of the basic obligations a member accepts upon joining a
Rotary club. The constitutional rules merely emphasize that Rotary is a
participatory organization that highly values regular attendance.
When a member is absent the entire club loses the personal association
with that member. Being present at a club meeting is considered a vital
part of the operation and success of every Rotary
club.
(Ed: Hmmm. Look who's
talking)..
Geek
Speak:
The Geek is on leave this week, but he suggested this hilarious website for those of you
who've been to Italy.
Golden Smile: A man enters a confessional and says to the Irish Priest, "Father, it's been one month since my last confession. I've had sex with Fanny Green every week for the last month." The priest tells the sinner,
"You're forgiven, but go and say three Hail Mary's."
Soon, another man enters the
confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession.
I've had sex with Fanny Green twice a week for the last two months."
This time the priest asks, "Who is
this Fanny Green?"
"A new woman in the
neighbourhood," the sinner replies.
"Very well," says the priest. "Go
and say ten Hail Mary's."
The next morning in church, the
priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when a gorgeous, tall woman
enters the church. All the men's eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays
up the aisle and sits down in front of the Altar. Her dress is green and
very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes.
The priest and altar boy gasp as
the woman sits down with her legs slightly spread apart, Sharon
Stone-style.
The priest turns to the altar boy
and whisperingly asks, "Is that Fanny Green?"
The altar boy replies, "No Father,
I think it's just the reflection off her
shoes."
Quotable Quotes:
"I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish
Church, the Roman Church, the Greek Church, the Turkish Church, the
Protestant Church, nor by any church that I know of. My own mind is my own
church. ".
Thomas Paine Bumper Sticker Of The Week:  If you want to
save the bumper sticker for use in email or on a website, put your mouse
pointer over the top, right-click, and select "Save Picture
As".
The
Phantom
|
If you no longer wish to receive this bulletin each week, unsubscribe. For previous issues of the bulletin (or to view them in their full HTML glory), visit our archives. © 2004 Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile. All rights reserved. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed herein are those of the author (who is under heavy medication), and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of any other member of the club.