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Golden News
Volume 15, Number 51 - Monday 17 June 2002
The official bulletin of the Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile is published
every Monday and is distributed to all club members, District officials and many other "friends of KGM". Winner "Best English Club Bulletin" in District 3450, 2001/2002
The cup runneth over:
Unless you've been living on Mars (or you're American), you will know that World Cup fever has totally dominated the
media over the past few weeks.
As a result, everybody, including the sweet little lady pictured left (whoever she is), has gotten into the spirit of what is arguably the biggest sporting event in the world after the Olympics (Americans: "world" means that other bit of Planet Earth outside the US & Canada). Sadly, though, TV coverage of the games in Hong Kong has been woeful. My guess is that the Cable TV announcers each had baboons for fathers and parrots for mothers, which is the only logical explanation for their ridiculous "Freddy Kruger Goes Punk" appearance.
Moreover, they apparently think they are calling a horse race, because they never shut up, not even for 5 seconds.
Their incessant, moronic chatter and never-ending screams of "Waaaaa" and "Ai-yaaaa" detract so much from the
games, the only way they are bearable is to mute the sound, and I can tell you that all of my Chinese friends agree!
Then, for reasons which have always escaped me in Hong Kong, they have from 5 to 7 "announcers" who, collectively, wouldn't know the difference between a goal and a gaol, or offside and roadside. Why can't they just have one or two qualified announcers instead of that gaggle of goofy geese? Sheesh! Anyway, I realise none of this has anything to do with Rotary in general, or with KGM in particular, but I needed to vent. I tried taking some Prozac yesterday to reduce my grumpiness, but I took Viagra by mistake.
And I was up all night.
This Week's Meeting:
Our speaker this week is Mr. Bill Leverett, and the topic of his presentation is "Hong Kong Dolphin Watch".
Milestones:
There are no KGM members celebrating birthdays this week. Member Updates: Nothing to report. I guess everybody is too busy watching the World Cup (with the mute on)?
Fellowship News - Reminder:
KGM Fellowship Director David "Party Dude" Harilela reminds members that our next regular fellowship will be the traditional NINC Night, once again organised and generously hosted by our NINC (Non Indian, Non Chinese) members (a.k.a. The Gwai Lo's).
The event will be held at 7:30 p.m., Saturday 29 June 2002 at the "Cococabana Restaurant", Mo Tat Wan, Lamma Island. The restaurant specialises in serving Mediterranean food, washed down with copious quantities of Sangria. Ole!
Members who prefer not to swim to Lamma are advised to meet at the Aberdeen Fish Market at 6:30 p.m. to catch the ferry departing at 6:45 p.m. The ferry ride takes about 20 minutes, followed by a brisk 3 minute walk to the restaurant. Paramedics will be standing by with oxygen. Those members who survive the gruelling walk can, encouraged by the live band, demonstrate their Salsa skills to those, like me, who will be receiving medical attention.
If you plan to attend this event, please contact KGM Vice-President Patricia "Iron Lady" Blair (no
relation to Tony) by email.
District 3450 News:
1) ROTARY CLUB OF AMAGAO (Macau) CLOSED:
The RC Amagao has been struggling for a number of years and, just prior to being officially closed by District 3450, only had 12 members, which is smaller than the KGM Board (15 members).
While it is sad to lose a club, The Phantom supports rationalisation in District 3450. I only hope that the former members of RC Amagao have joined or will
join another club in Macau.
As a result of the closure, District 3450 now has 42 clubs in Hong Kong, 5 in Macau and 2 in Mongolia.
2) 2002/2003 DISTRICT INSTALLATION (Reminder):
This will be held from 6:00 p.m., Thursday 4 July 2002 at the HKCEC,
Wanchai North. Members interested in attending this event should contact PE Nanu Lachman
by telephone on 9025 6699 or by email.
Rotary International News:
The RI Presidential Conference of Peace & Development will be
held from Friday to Sunday, 9-11 August 2002 at the Renaissance Kuala Lumpur Hotel, Malaysia.
Web Side Story:
Hello? HELLO?? Anybody out there??
We STILL haven't seen a single snap from the Annual Ball yet, nor from the "Mama Chow's" or the
"Wine Tasting" fellowships.
What's the haps, dudes? Dear Geek:
Dear Geek,
I often receive emails telling me about wonderful schemes where I can make a lot of money in a short period of time, and all I have to do is forward the email I received onto 50 friends. Do I have anything to lose? Yours, Iva Conception. Dear Miss Conception, The only thing you have to lose is 50 friends and your credibility.
There is an old adage "If it's too good to be true, it probably isn't!", and nowhere is
this more applicable than with email. Apart from the usual Nigerian and "Bill Gates wants to send you money" scams, there are an increasing number of schemes which
promise you great wealth if you just send a measly US$5 to somebody, after you add your name to an ever-increasing list of similarly misguided punters.
These are called Pyramid Schemes and, while they are illegal in Hong Kong and most other
jurisdictions, it is impossible for law enforcement agencies here to prevent them from being perpetuated by email.
Sure, some of you may think "Hey, it's only 5 bucks, so the worst that can happen is that I lose 5 bucks", right? While that may well
be the case, do you honestly believe you will make millions by sending somebody $5?
If you want the best odds of making millions from a $5 investment, go buy a Mark Six ticket. Yours,
The Geek.
Who Am I?
What is the more common name of sultry Nigerian-born singer Helen Folasade Adu?
The answer appears at the bottom of this issue.
Cunning Linguist:
Are you curious about the origins of the term "Three Sheets to the Wind" ?
The phrase, which means somebody is extremely drunk, dates back to 1821.
The sheet is a reference to a rope on a sailboat. To have one sheet loose in the wind is bad seamanship, but to have three sheets loose means you are not capable of controlling the boat. Occasionally you will hear "one sheet to the wind", which means half-drunk.
Did you ever wonder why...
Your mother always told you it's the early bird that catches the worm, but she probably never
considered that it's the second mouse which gets the cheese?
Footnote: This is why I don't get up too early in the morning! Bada-bing.
Golden Smile:
A businessman sitting at the airport bar in Hong Kong notices an attractive woman sitting next to him. He thought to himself, "Wow,
she must be a flight attendant, but I wonder which airline?"
Hoping to engage her in conversation, he leaned towards her and utters the Thai slogan: "Smooth As Silk?". She gave him a
blank, confused stare so he thought to himself: "Oh well, I guess she doesn't work for Thai Airways".
A moment later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned towards her again and this time said: "A Great Way To Fly?".
She gave him the same confused look, so he mentally scratched Singapore Airlines off the list.
Next he tried the Cathay Pacific slogan: "The heart of Asia?".
This time the woman turned on him and angrily snapped: "What the hell do you want???".
The man slumped back in his chair and said "Ahhh, United Airlines".
Quotable Quotes:
"The metric system did not really catch on in the US, unless you count the increasing popularity of the 9mm bullet".
-- Dave Barry --
The Phantom |
| "Who Am I?" answer: Sade. |
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