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Golden News
Volume 15, Number 44 - Monday 29 April 2002
Ball Week:
Well it was great to attend a regular KGM meeting last week after such a long absence, and I was thrilled that most members remembered me,
some of them fondly!
Our Fearless Leader President Ebe Tung "Chee Wa" was in her usual cheery form, and she almost closed the
meeting on time. However I must say that Sergeant Susie "Madam Lash" Misini seems to have mellowed, as she handed out
very light punishments for misdemeanors. If this keeps up, we may have to demote her to Corporal and nickname her "Spanky".
Anyway our guest speaker, Graham Uden, gave us an interesting talk and slide presentation on his experiences as a photographer in Afghanistan during the final days of the Taliban. The images depicted the truly barren and war-torn landscape
in Afghanistan, and it was sad to see people forced to live under such restrictive religious and environmental conditions.
Visiting Rotarian Reinhard Stille and two fellow club members (and their wives) from the RC Maidstone in the UK graced our meeting, and it was rewarding to know they discovered KGM through our website.
In fact, they even signed our online guestbook.
By the way, the sign above is apparently from a golf club in India, and it's one of the reasons why I gave up golf in favour of shooting. Somehow people are
much nicer to you when you have a gun.
Speaking of balls, next Saturday is our Annual Ball and, providing our Joint Ball Chairmen approve the MC's request for
entertainment funding, it's gonna be a blast!
This Week's Meeting:
There is no KGM meeting this week due to the Public Holiday on Wednesday 1 May.
However our effervescent Attendance Director Neerja "Da Numbers" Sujanani reminds
members that she has organised another "Mass Make-Up" at the regular meeting of RC
Admiralty at 12:30 p.m., Friday 3 May 2002 at the Marriott Hotel, Hong Kong.
If you plan to join Neerja this Friday, send her a courtesy email or call her on 9070 5096.
Be there, or be square!
Milestones:
There are no KGM members celebrating birthdays this week.
However we send our belated congratulations to PDG "Uncle" Peter
Hall on being awarded a Rotary International "Lifetime Achievement Award", which was presented to him by RI
Past President Cliff Dochterman at our last District Conference.
PDG Peter was inducted into the RC Hong Kong Island East in 1960 and was District Governor of District 345 (as it was then numbered),
in 1981-82, when our district still included clubs in Northern Taiwan.
Member Updates:
1) PDG Dipo "Diplomacy" Sani announces the launch of his new company website, which has also been added to the Member's Websites
link available from the top of the KGM website. Check it out!
2) Per Larsen has been removed from our club roster. Since Per has not attended a regular club meeting in
over 6 months, nor paid his dues for two periods, he is deemed to have resigned from the club. We wish him well, wherever he may
be!
3) Former KGM member Erika Taylor has been removed from our
"Friends" email distribution list because the last three emails sent to her have bounced.
Fellowship News:
KGM Fellowship Director David "Party Dude" Harilela advises that our next regular fellowship will be the traditional Indian Night, once again to be generously hosted by our Indian members.
Cowboys are nonetheless welcome!
The event will be held at 7:00 p.m. (Indian Time), on Saturday 25 May
2002 at the "Viceroy of India" restaurant, Sun Hung Kai Centre, Wanchai North, Hong
Kong.
Bring your dancing shoes.
Annual Ball - Last Call:
Unless you've been living on the Planet Fubar for the last few months, you will know that our major fellowship event this year will be held at the Grand Hyatt Hotel ballroom on Saturday 4 May 2002 (i.e. this coming
Saturday!).
This is KGM's 15th Anniversary Ball, and the theme of the evening is "70's Night Fever" because, well, most members are old farts. So, dust off your bell bottoms (or hot pants), put on your chunky platform shoes and boogie on down. Prizes will be awarded for the best
70's costumes.
And those KGM members who claim not to have been alive during the 70's are reminded of the "4-Way Test".
Shame on you!
Anyway, this is your last chance to contact our debonair table
sales guy Pico "Lino" Dialdas by telephone on 2543 8006 or by email, if you don't already have your seats or table organised.
If you require Vegetarian meals, please contact Vice-President Patricia "Iron Lady" Blair by telephone on 2166 8888 or by email pronto!
District 3450 News:
1) Yes, yes, I know. I gave you the wrong date in the last bulletin. So sue me!
Anyway, TVB Jade will broadcast a documentary entitled "Walk Along With Rotary",
which highlights the activities of Rotary District 3450, from 10:30 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. on Sunday 19 May 2002.
2) According to the latest District Governor's Newsletter, KGM's attendance at February 2002
is a respectable 74.50% on a YTD (year-to-date) basis, and KGM is currently placed 9th overall out of
50 clubs in District 3450. Not too shabby for a bunch of rebels, eh?
Of course the best attendance reported in District 3450 was RC Hongkong Sunrise, as their 12
members (!!) achieved 100% attendance for the YTD. Coming a close second was RC Guia,
because their 15 members (!!) reported 93.88% attendance for the same period.
Rotary International News:
2) The RI Annual Convention will be held from 23 to 26 June 2002 in Barcelona, Spain, and you can register on-line here. For more information about the convention, visit their web site! STOP PRESS: Rotary International has announced that comedian Jerry Lewis and former Soviet leader and Nobel Laureate Mikhail Gorbachev will be attending the RI Convention, and both gentleman will be presented with the RI Award of Honour.
Web Side Story:
The award-winning KGM website continues to record an average of 500
visitors each month.
Our statistics show that 70% of our visitors are from North America and Europe, but we are delighted that
we have received about a dozen enquiries about membership in the last 12 months from local residents.
The website is now comprised of 333 pages.
Dear Geek:
Dear Geek,
OK, I admit I'm a bozo and I didn't follow the advice you gave in numerous other bulletins about how to avoid getting my PC infected with a virus, and
this week my computer crashed. Please refresh my memory and help me to avoid another disaster. Yours, Richard Cranium.
Dear Dick (may I call you "Dick"?),
Yes, you're a moron but, as my daddy once said: "You can take a horse to water, but you can't make him drink"
(or was it: "You can take a horse to drink, but you can't make him water"?). Whatever.
Anyway, here's the drill:
1. Install an Anti-Virus program and a Firewall (I highly
recommend Symantec products).
2. Update both programs at least once a week (I update mine every morning, before checking my
email).
3. Never open an email attachment unless you are expecting it and, in any case, you have first
performed a virus scan. Ask yourself if seeing the latest joke is more important than crashing your PC. Well?
Since you admit you basically have no idea what the hell you're doing, my advice is delete non-essential emails with
attachments without opening them.
4. Some viruses, such as the recent "KLEZ" and it's
variants, are activated by merely highlighting an infected email message in your inbox. These are very nasty and it is more reason
to scan all messages before you even get a chance to look at them.
5. Trust nobody. Not even me. Scan everything, no exceptions. The best precaution is to set-up your anti-virus software to scan all messages as they are being downloaded from your server.
Hence, when you "check your email", your anti-virus software will check all messages for viruses before you get a chance to make a huge
mistake.
I lost count, but I estimate I was sent some 200 KLEZ-infected emails in the past 10 days. Did my PC
crash? No Sir. Why? Because I'm anally-retentive when it comes to the Internet. Yours, The Geek.
Who Am I?
What is the more common name of British singer Gordon Sumner?
The answer appears at the bottom of this issue.
Cunning Linguist:
Did you ever wonder about the origins of the term "Molotov Cocktail" ?
This makeshift incendiary grenade is named after Vyacheslav Mikhailovich Molotov (1890-1986), the Soviet Minister
for Foreign Affairs from 1939 to 1949.
The name was given to the bottles filled with gasoline by the Finns during the Winter War of 1939-40. Molotov was reviled in Finland as the man who engineered
the Nazi-Soviet Non-Aggression Pact that allowed the Russians to attack Finland.
The name comes from Finland, but the credit for inventing the device goes to Republican forces in the Spanish Civil War of a few years earlier. !
Golden Smile:
SIGN POSTED AT A GOLF CLUB:
01. Keep your back straight, your knees slightly bent and your feet shoulder-width apart. 02. Form a firm grip. 03. Keep your head down. 04. Avoid a quick back swing. 05. Stay out of the water. 06. Try not to hit anyone. 07. If you are taking too long, please stand aside and let others go ahead of you. 08. Don't stand directly in front of others. 09. Please be quiet when others are preparing to go. 10. Don't take more strokes than necessary. Well done. Now flush the urinal, wash your hands, then go outside and tee off!
++++++++
Two men were sitting at a bar recounting their dreams.
"I dreamt I was on vacation," one man said fondly. "It was just me and my fishing rod and this big beautiful lake. What a dream."
"I had a great dream too," said the other. "I dreamt I was in bed with two beautiful women and I was having the time of my life."
His companion looked over and exhorted, "You dreamt you had two women and you didn't call me???"
"Oh I did," said the other, "but when I called, your wife said you'd gone fishing."
Quotable Quotes:
"My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it".
-- Buddy Hackett --
The Phantom |
| "Who Am I?" answer: Sting. |
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