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Golden News
Volume 15, Number 38 - Monday 18 March 2002
And the winner is .... KGM!:
Well folks, KGM did rather well at the awards ceremony held in conjunction with the District Conference
at the Kowloon Shangri-La hotel over the weekend .
KGM won the award for "Best English Language Bulletin" and "Best
Website" in District 3450. Not bad for a club still experiencing puberty, eh? Of course we were disappointed that our nomination of Tony
Denyer for the "Longest Serving Prospective Member" award was not accepted, but I guess we can't complain.
Anyway, as neither I nor our Web Monster could attend the presentation (we were both in Beijing having a nice duck), the awards were
accepted by our Fearless Leader, President Ebe Tung "Chee Wow" who, in honour of the majesty of the occasion, was dressed like a schoolgirl from St. Trinians.
Spank me!
As I was unable to give an acceptance speech, I would like to take this opportunity to thank my director, my producer, my agent, District Webmaster Bill Benter, my therapist, District Awards Chairman PDG Peter Hall, my
spiritual advisor Chief Um Foo Foo, my cat Nobby and the many other people and furry things I had to sleep with to win the awards.
Thank you, one and all, but especially you Nobby. And yes, I promise I'll call.
My only wish now is that winning these awards will help me to further the causes which are most important to me,
namely World Peace and the introduction of curly fries at McDonalds.
Despite missing the awards presentation, I did manage to arrive at the Shangri-La in time for the Governor's Banquet,
however I thought I was at the wrong venue, because the volume of the music was more akin to a rock concert. Then again perhaps Past RI President Cliff Dochterman, who was representing RI President Rick King, enjoyed the
cacophony because he's a veteran of Woodstock? Maybe he has a tattoo? Maybe he owns a Harley? Or maybe I had too much Mao Tai on China Southern Airlines (Motto: "Fly with us and
you won't need laxatives").
Frankly, the entire banquet was reminiscent of two virgins on their honeymoon night: full of enthusiasm but lacking coordination. We had to wait an hour for bread rolls and the only reason we got them was because our old mate PP Raju "GIMME SOME DAMN BREAD!" Daswani was so sweetly persuasive. Love that guy!
Anyway, for the 5th consecutive year, KGM were allocated the cheapest seats in the house. In fact, if our table was
any further away from the stage, we would've been able to hear the horns on the Star Ferry. The good news is that our old mates from RC Kowloon North
were also banished and were seated on an adjacent table. Notable miscreants present there included (former KGM member) President Ramesh Chugani,
PP Bill Benter and Bulletin Editor Nicole Burt who, by the way, wishes to address KGM
one day on "Adopting A Land Mine".
Personally, I'd rather adopt a Playboy bunny but, hey, if it's hot and goes "boom", count me in! Woof!
Returning to regular KGM business, our speakers last week were Ms. Sheryl Coughlin
& Mr. Blair Davidson, who gave us a very enlightening talk and presentation on "Appreciating
Coffee", which bears no resemblance whatsoever to the black coloured water favoured by Americans.
This Week's Meeting:
This week's guest speaker is Mr. Vijai Singh, who will be speaking to us on "The China Coast Community".
Milestones:
Once again there are no KGM members celebrating birthdays this week. Welcome:
We extend a hearty KGM welcome to our newest member, Adrian Borgeest, who was inducted at
our regular club meeting on 13 March. If you have not already done so, please introduce yourself to Adrian and make him feel welcome (e.g. buy him a beer, you cheapskate!).
Adrian's contact details have already been added to the Member's Only section of the award-winning KGM website, and his name has also been added to the relevant email distribution lists.
Fellowship News:
1) A "Spice Of Life" night has been organised for Thursday 28 March 2002 at "Mum Chow's Restaurant", 5B Winner Building, 37 D'Aguilar Street, Central.
Fellowship Director David "Party Spice" Harilela informs us that this restaurant, operated
by "Yo Momma" er, sorry, I mean "Chow Ma
Ma", has received rave reviews. Moreover, the cost of only HK$250 per head, which includes a lavish 13 course menu,
lots of drinks and a supply of Imodium, is truly a bargain!
However, as space is limited to 30 seats, I urge you to contact
David's efficient assistant "Amazing" Grace by email without delay.
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2) KGM Attendance Director Neerja "Da Numbers" Sujanani advises that we have been invited by our
mother club, the RC Kowloon, to attend their meeting at the Peninsula Hotel, at 12:30 p.m. on Thursday
28 March 2002.
This is an excellent opportunity to enjoy fellowship with our buddies at RC Kowloon and, at the same time, to do a "Group
Make-Up", which is the best fun you can have while wearing a Rotary pin. Members who can attend this meeting are asked to contact Neerja by email.
The Love Boat:
International Service Director Elissa "Captain Hook" Cohen announces that she has organised the
first-ever KGM ocean cruise on board the "M/S Star Leo".
The ship will depart for a 4 day/3 night cruise to Vietnam on Sunday 9 June 2002, and will return
to Hong Kong on Wednesday 12 June.
Tickets are very reasonably priced at under HK$3,000 per head, and members interested in joining what will
undoubtedly be a fantastic fellowship are urged to contact Elissa by email
without delay.
Moreover, in honour of next year's Rotary International theme, Elissa invites you to bring a friend and "Sow The Seeds
Of Love" on board The Love Boat. Cheeky!
Talking about cruises, if Penelope Cruz marries Tom Cruise, will she become Penelope Cruz-Cruise?
KGM 15th Anniversary Ball:
This year's Annual Ball, to be held at the Grand Hyatt Hotel ballroom on Saturday 4 May 2002, celebrates KGM's 15th Anniversary. The theme of the evening is
"70's Night Fever", so dust off your bell bottoms, your hot pants and your chunky shoes (Brian Hodgson, just come as you
are!).
Anyway, your intrepid Ball Committee, capably lead by joint Chair-Thingies Elissa "Pass The
Peanuts" Cohen and David "Party Dude" Harilela (aka "Abbott & Costello"), will be doing
everything in their power to make this the "Mother Of All Balls"!
Ticket prices have been set at $1,200 per head.
Although this may seem like a high increase over the $1,000 charged last year, this is the first increase in six (6) years and, in any case, it's still a bargain in Hong Kong terms. As usual, our maximum
capacity is 450 seats however considering that in recent years we have had +400 guests, we urge you to start forming your table now!
Please contact our handsome and suave table sales guy Pico "Lino" Dialdas by telephone on 2543 8006 or by email to reserve your table.
Note that 26 tables have already been "pre-sold", so don't delay, or you may miss out.
Remember our annual ball is primarily a "Fun Raising" not a "Fund Raising" affair and,
if you only go to one ball each year, this is the one!
District 3450 News:
1) New Club in District 3450:
The Rotary Club of Khuree, Mongolia, which is the 2nd Rotary Club in Mongolia and the 50th Rotary Club in District 3450, was recently chartered, and they meet at 6:30 p.m. every Thursday at the Mona Lisa restaurant in Ulaanbaatar.
Unfortunately, further details are unknown, because nobody in the District ever tells us anything! So much for paying for a
"Rotary Information Centre" in Hong Kong. Bah, humbug!
In fact, the only reason we know about this new club is because their banner was hanging over the cheap seats at the District Conference which prompted your intrepid Web Monster to make further enquiries.
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2) Thursday 28 March 2002 - Visit to Provisional RC Shanghai by RI President Rick King.
KGM members interested in attending this three (3) day event should contact DG Johnson Chu by email.
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3) Saturday 20 April - District Assembly.
This year's event will be held at the Kowloon Shangri-La Hotel and is being co-organised by KGM. More details will be given in a future issue of Golden News.
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4) Sunday 21 April - District Tree Planting Day.
More information will be published when available (don't hold your breath waiting!).
Rotary International News:
A) The GSE Team from
District 7750 (South Carolina, USA), are now in Hong Kong and they will be visiting KGM on 3
April 2002.
B) An RI Presidential Conference will be held from 22-24 March 2002 in Taipei, Taiwan. For more information about this event, visit their website. C) The RI Annual Convention will be held from 23 to 26 June 2002 in Barcelona, Spain, and you can register on-line here. For more information about the convention, visit their web site!
Web Side Story:
Nothing to report this week. The Web Monster is still gloating!
Dear Geek:
Dear Geek, Is it OK to send people emails with extremely large attachments? Yours, Ben Dover.
Dear Ben, Absolutely not!
Even if you and your intended recipient(s) have broadband connections, most ISP's (Internet Service
Providers) such as Netvigator, Pacific Net etc. limit the size of email mailboxes to (typically) 6 megabytes. Hence if you send an email
which has an attachment of, say, 6 megabytes, this will cause one of two things to happen:
1) Your recipient's mailbox will instantly become full and the ISP will reject any subsequent emails for
the same recipient until their mailbox is cleared. In this event, your recipient will not be able to receive possibly important business emails from other senders for the
duration;
or
2) If there is insufficient capacity in the recipient's mailbox, your email will be rejected. Note that this may cause a grumpy Webmaster to receive dozens of "undeliverable" messages, which will make him even grumpier.
Remember that when you send an email, it does not go directly to the recipient. It is firstly deposited in their "email post box" until they electronically collect their mail.
So, if you don't want people getting very annoyed with you, I suggest you do not send any attachments larger than 1
megabyte unless you can forewarn the recipient, so that they can clear their mailbox soon thereafter.
Yours, The Geek.
Who Am I?
What is the more common name of French actress and "femme fatale" Camille Javal, from the 1960's & 1970's, who is currently a
prominent animal rights activist?
The answer appears at the bottom of this issue.
Cunning Linguist:
Did you ever wonder about the origins of the phrase "Face The Music" ?
This is an Americanism that was first noted in 1850. It derives from live theatre because, with the musicians typically placed
in a pit before the stage, to face the music meant to turn towards the audience.
In modern times, it is used to describe the act of facing the consequences of one's actions.
Golden Smile:
A young couple on their honeymoon were very anxious about having sex because they were both virgins. They were also uncomfortable discussing the subject,
so they came up with the term "doing the laundry" to use in place of the term "having sex."
On the first night of their honeymoon they "did the laundry" 5 times.
In the middle of the night the husband woke up because he was ready to "do the laundry" again, however his wife was very tired and she told him
that she just didn't have the energy to do it again just yet, but she would be more than willing to do so in the morning.
When the wife finally awoke, she felt guilty because her husband's request was reasonable, especially since it was their honeymoon, so she said to him:
"Honey, I'm sorry I denied you last night, but we can do the laundry again now if you want".
To which he replied: "That's ok sweetie, it was only a small load, so I did it by hand.".
Quotable Quotes:
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher".
-- Socrates --
The Phantom |
| "Who Am I?" answer: Brigitte Bardot. |
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