Golden News
Volume 15, Number 28 - Monday 7 January 2002
The bulletin of the Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile - published every Monday.
Me and Mini-me:
sunblock Well I must say I was pleasantly surprised at the member turnout at last week's meeting, because we managed to fill three tables, eventhough it was the day after New Year's day.

I was thinking that perhaps we're all getting a little older, so we don't party like a few years back, but then I saw quite a few sets of bloodshot eyes. I suppose that could be due to Hong Kong's worsening pollution, but the fact that half of those present also had their pants on backwards leads me to believe we're not that old yet, just a tad forgetful.
 
Anyway I know we still have a few members who have not yet returned from their escape to warmer climates, such as our old mate Balu Chainrai (pictured left, seen practicing "safe sunbaking" in Mexico). Apparently Balu originally intended to visit Florida, but Shriner's hats are not so accommodating.

Our very own Grand Pubah, President Ebe, was in her usual form and conducted another excellent meeting. She was, of course, aided by her faithful sidekick Sergeant Susie "Madam Lash" Misini, who apparently spent New Year's Eve singing "I will survive" at HK Country Club. According to my spies, Susie did a first-class rendition of the song. Not the Gloria Gaynor version, mind you. The one by Phyllis Diller.
 
Our weekly lucky draw collection revealed that recently inducted member Tim Wong in an enterprising guy. When President Ebe decided to up the ante to $50 (instead of the usual $20), Tim placed three $20 notes with his name in the box. Devious, really. Too bad he didn't have any $10 notes!

Nonetheless, the box of chocolates was won by our old mate Jagdish "Washer" Pursram who, being a decent chap (despite his fierce looking goatee), graciously shared them with everybody. OK, OK, so we all surrounded him, armed with cocktail forks, and we each demanded a truffle, but he gave in and avoided bloodshed. 

Finally our guest speaker, Ms. Eva Chan from Sowers Action Group, gave us an presentation about the various schools KGM has constructed in China, and we were all delighted to see how far our money had gone.

This Week's Meeting:

This week's guest speaker is our old mate, journalist, novelist, social commentator & raconteur Mr. Nury Vittachi, whose topic this time is "Bald is Beautiful". OK, OK, it's not true - I made that up. It's just that nobody ever tells me anything, so I've got to improvise here.

Anyway, we'll also have a visit from two "Maiko" (apprentice Geisha girls) from Kyoto, who will be accompanied by PP Susie Wakai of RC Wanchai, the President of SOGO Hong Kong and various other sumo-size chaperones armed with enormous swords and little patience for dirty old men (Brian Hodgson, are you reading this?).

By the way, we're not exactly sure why they're coming but, hey, it's something different, right? Crack open the industrial-strength sake, lads.

Milestones:
 
A) Birthday greetings for 11 January to Sergeant Susie "Madam Lash" Misini who shares her birthday with the Marquise De Sade.
 
Naaah. I made that up too, but I bet you all believed me, huh? Susie actually shares her birthday with actress & singer Naomi Judd, mother of the gorgeous and very sexy Ashley Judd. Hubba-hubba. The beautiful Ashley can put her shoes under my bed anytime Mrs. Phantom is out of town.
 
B) Birthday greetings also for 11 January to Tim Wong, who shares his birthday with Alexander Hamilton, the guy whose portrait appears on the US$10 banknote. What a coincidence, huh? Tim, small banknotes ....

Anyway, contrary to what many people believe, not all of the people depicted on United States banknotes were former Presidents; Hamilton was First Secretary of the US Treasury under President George Washington.


Member Updates:

Sergeant Susie "Madam Lash" Misini invites members to tune into Radio HMV 864, weekdays at 0800hrs, to listen to her new series of broadcasts on "Health Tips".
 
This week's theme: "Loose Weight Without Exercise: An insider's guide to chains & shackles".

(Note for Elissa: That's "shackles" not "Shekels", OK?).

Fellowship News:

We finally have all the important news about our next fellowship, "Chinese Night".
 
This event, once again graciously hosted by our Chinese members, will be held on Saturday 26 January, at the Gourmet Chinese Restaurant, G/F Manulife Tower, 169 Electric Road, North Point (telephone: 2570 3008).

There will also be a Rotary Information Seminar held just before the Chinese Night commences, and every member of KGM who joined within the last 2 years is expected to attend. If you don't, no food. Simple, really.

Presumably there will be the usual Chinese pre-dinner games such as "Mahjong", "Yue, Ha, Hai", "Dai Dor Dee" and "Pin The Tail On IPP Cassidy While He's Butt Naked". Ouch!.
 
More news and announcements will be made during regular club meetings.

Fund Raising News:
 
President Elect Nanu "Nanu" Lachman advises that the first KGM Fund Raising event this year will be a Walk-a-thon to be held on Sunday 20 January, 2002. Mark your diaries or tap your Palm Pilots now!

Nanu's target is for each KGM member is to raise (or contribute) the measly sum of just HK$2,000 each. Heck, I'd pay double that amount just to be able to stay in bed on Sunday morning, especially during winter.

The good news is that since Nanu will be leading the walk, it'll probably just require two laps of the Holiday Inn lobby, after which we can all retire to Hari's Bar for a much needed cleansing ale!

Anyway, further details are still unavailable, but watch this space for more information. Hello? Nanu? HELLO?
 
 
District 3450 News:
 
1) Sunday 13 January 2002 - District Sports Day:

The above event is being organised by the RC Tai Po at Wanchai Sports Ground, Wanchai. For more information, contact Ms. Claire Mak on telephone 2852 5906 or by email.

2) Sunday 20 January 2002 - District Soccer Tournament:

The above event is being organised by the RC New Territories at a venue to be announced.
 
However since this clashes with the KGM walk-a-thon and considering that most of our members can't walk for 30 minutes, let alone run for 90 minutes, I guess we'll give this event a miss.

3) Saturday 16 March & Sunday 7 March 2002 - District Conference:

This event will be held at the Kowloon Shangri-La hotel. Registration forms and other information can be obtained from the District website. The conference will be preceded, as usual, by a golf tournament on 8 March and there will also be a "pre-conference cruise" on 10 March.

One thing I've noticed is that this year the conference only runs from the opening ceremony at 1400hrs on the Saturday until (presumably), 1700hrs on the Sunday, which seems shorter than previous years whereby the conference usually opened on a Friday evening and dragged on monotonously until Sunday evening.

If the new timetable does, in fact, mean a shorter conference, then we must congratulate DG Johnson Chu on taking what is arguably a bold new initiative.

If he can also avoid squandering District funds on lavish and wasteful professional "entertainers", then DG Johnson is truly a breath of fresh air in an otherwise stale District 3450.

 
Rotary International News:
 
A) Rotary International is having a contest!

In honour of it's forthcoming Centennial in 2005, RI has decided to publish a book, temporarily referred to as "The RI Centennial History Book". However the actual title of the book has not been decided, and all Rotarians worldwide are invited to suggest an appropriate title for the book. This is quite an exciting opportunity to be recognised by RI.

For more information and to enter the contest, visit the special page on the RI website.
 
B) Group Study Exchange ("GSE") 2001-2002: The Incoming GSE Team from District 7750 (South Carolina, USA), will visit District 3450 from March 10 to April 10, 2002. Our Outgoing GSE Team, led by PP Simon Wong of RC of Peninsula Sunrise, will depart Hong Kong on April 10 and return on May 10.

C) KGM members interested in numismatics (coin collecting!), should click here for more information about the silver Rotary commemorative coin being offered by the RC Hawaii Sunset.
 
D) An RI Presidential PolioPlus Summit will be held from 22-24 February 2002 in Mumbai, India.

E) An RI Presidential Conference will be held from 22-24 March 2002 in Taipei, Taiwan. For more information about this event, visit their website.

F) The RI Annual Convention will be held from 23 to 26 June 2002 in Barcelona, Spain, and you can register on-line here. For more information about the convention, visit their web site.
 
Web Side Story: 
 
Nothing to report this week.


Dear Geek:

Dear Geek, I'm thinking about buying a new personal computer, but I get confused with all the geek jargon. Can you please try to explain things to me in simple English? Yours, I.P. Daley.
 
Dear Mr. Daley, There are five main things to consider before buying a new computer:
 
1. Storage: The amount of storage is expressed in "Gigabytes" or "Gb", and this refers to the capacity of the hard disk drive. Most modern PC's come with between 20Gb to 30Gb but often more, and this is ample for most people, unless you primarily intend to store a huge selection of images, audio and video files.
 
2. Memory: In simple terms, this refers to how many different tasks the computer can handle at the same time, and is expressed in "Megabytes" or "Mb". These days, do not accept anything less than 64Mb, but it is better to get at least 128Mb or possibly more.
 
3. Processor: This is the "brain speed" of the computer, and is expressed in "Megahertz" or "MHz". Most models currently on the market offer Pentium III 750Mhz processors, and this is adequate for most people, but other models offering Pentium III 1.2 "Gigahertz" or "GHz" are, of course, faster. However unless you plan to do many complicated mathematical computations, the higher GHz speeds are not essential.
 
4. Other Drives: It is essential to have a built in CD-ROM drive, if for no other reason than to load software, but most vendors these days offer higher calibre drives. These include DVD/CD-ROM drives (which allow you to also watch movies on your PC), or R/W DVD Combo drives (which allow you do all of the above plus "back-up" your data onto disks and make your own audio CD's and so on.

Note that while "floppy disk drives" or "floppies" are generally still offered as standard equipment, they are less important these days due to the ability to transfer files by email, however most PC's still include "floppies" .
 
5. Communications devices: The two main types of communications devices these days are for "telephony" and "peripherals".

"Telephony" basically refers to a "modem" which will enable you to connect to your email server and/or the Internet. These days, modems are often supplied as an internal device, which means the only thing you see from the outside of your PC is the telephone connector jack. However most notebook PC's still offer "PCMCIA" slots where you plug-in a "card modem" (which looks like a thick credit card).

"Peripherals" refer to all the other things which plug into your PC, the most common being a printer, but there are many other peripherals such as scanners, fax machines, digital cameras and so on. The standard connector for peripherals these days are "USB" ports and it is advisable to get a PC with at least two USB ports. These will enable you to easily plug in and remove your peripherals.
 
Yours, The Geek.
 
Who Am I? 
 
What is the more common name of sexy Canadian singer Eileen Regina Edwards?

The answer appears at the bottom of this issue.
 
Cunning Linguist:

Have you ever wondered about the origins of the expression "Balls to the wall"?
 
The phrase "balls to the wall", meaning an all-out effort, is often misconstrued as a reference to a part of the male anatomy, however the original usage has nothing to do with anatomy, coming rather from the world of aviation.

On an airplane, the handles controlling the throttle and the fuel mixture are often topped with ball-shaped grips, referred to by pilots as "balls". Pushing the balls forward, close to the front wall of the cockpit results in the most (and richest mixture of), fuel going to the engines, thereby generating the highest possible speed.
 
The phrase dates to the early 1950s and several veterans note their use of the term during the Korean War era.

The earliest written citation is a bit later. The Random House Historical Dictionary of American Slang contains a quote from 1966-67, in Harvey's Air War, where a perilous mission was described as "a big balls-to-the-wall raid against Hanoi oil". 

Golden Smile:

"The Monkey"
 
While waiting to cross Nathan Road one day, a man noticed a monkey sitting on top of the traffic light. When the monkey saw the man staring, it climbed down and gently grabbed the man's hand.
 
Just then, the man observed a Police officer standing nearby and, not knowing what to do with the monkey, he approached the officer, explained what had happened and asked: "What should I do with the monkey?".
 
The Police office replied: "I suggest you take him to the zoo".
 
The man replied: "Good idea", he thanked the officer for his advice and walked away with the monkey.

The very next day, the same Police officer was on patrol and he saw the man with the monkey at the very same intersection. He approached the man, tapped him on the shoulder and said: "I thought you were going to take that monkey to the zoo?".
 
To which the man replied: "I did Officer but today he wants to go to Ocean Park" !
 
Quotable Quotes:

"It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time."

-- Tallulah Bankhead --
 

The Phantom
"Who am I?" answer: Shania Twain.

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