Well folks, that's it for another calendar year. Since the date of our regular meeting this week falls on a public holiday, the next time we'll convene together as a club will be at our next meeting on 2 January, 2002. Can you believe it? It seems like only last week that we were stocking up on water, batteries and candy bars to prepare for the disasters which threatened to affect us with the arrival of Y2K.

Anyway, last week's meeting was certainly a busy one, because we had our two AGM's (one for the club and one for the company). Of course, PP Robin "Point Of Order" Ching (pictured left), gave our poor beleaguered Treasurer a hard time as usual during the AGM's but, thanks to his consuming a large quantity of industrial strength Prozac before the meeting, the Treasurer kept his cool and didn't foam at the mouth or shoot PP Robin. Well, not yet!

 

The other KGM Directors present each gave a brief report about their activities in the first six months of the year, and it was clear from the applause that KGM members were generally satisfied with their performances. The AGM's were quickly followed by the election of club officers to serve from 1 July 2002 (results below), and there were no surprises. Congratulations to Patricia "Iron Lady" Blair on being elected next President-Elect.

Our Fearless Leader President Ebe Tung "Chee Wow" conducted the meeting with an efficiency to which we have all become accustomed. In other words, the meeting ended 20 minutes late and she almost forgot to conduct the lucky draw again. Thankfully Sergeant Susie "Madam Lash" Misini was reasonably gentle with us and incredibly brief, so it wasn't necessary to give her a vote of thanks, otherwise we could've been there until Friday.

We were honoured to have IPP Randal Eastman from the provisional RC of Shanghai as a visiting Rotarian, who gave us a brief history of his club. More general information about his club can be downloaded by clicking here, while details about their Rotary Gift of Life China project, whereby they provide open heart surgery for needy children in China, can be downloaded by clicking here. Perhaps KGM should consider working with RC Shanghai on what certainly seems like a worthwhile project.

Of course our Web Monster beamed when IPP Randal stated that he, like many others before him, only decided to make-up at KGM after visiting our non-award winning website. If the Web Monster receives any more such compliments, we may need to hold our meetings outdoors, in order to accommodate his increasingly large noggin.

No word from our intrepid Attendance Director Neerja "Da Numbers" Sujanani, who has apparently taken off for her Xmas holidays. Let's hope she does some make-ups while she's away, otherwise we can all give her a hard time when she returns! Bwa-ha-ha.
 

 

What is the more common name of stylish Egyptian actor Michael Shalhoub?

The answer appears at the bottom of this issue.

 

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Golden Smile:

"Rules for Cats"

 

BATHROOMS: Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit there and stare.

DOORS: Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get door open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season.

CHAIRS & RUGS: If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so that the trail is as long as possible.

HAMPERING: If one of your humans is engaged in some activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping," otherwise known as "hampering." For examples, when supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted. For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.

For paperwork, lie on the papers in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work as possible. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap a pencil or pen.

 

For people paying bills, working on income taxes or Christmas cards, firstly sit on the paper being worked on. When dislodged, watch sadly from the side of the table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens, pencils, and erasers off the table, one at a time.

 

When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper. Humans love the surprise.

 

When a human is working at computer, jump up on desk, walk across keyboard, strike at the moving mouse pointer on the screen and then lay in human's lap across arms, hampering typing in progress. At Xmas time, wait until your human has spent hours decorating their Xmas tree, then quickly remove everything.

 

WALKING: As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms. This is also fun in the dark, and when humans first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.

 

BEDTIME: Always sleep on the human at night so they cannot move.

LITTER BOX: When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.

 

HIDING: Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you. Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out, the humans will cover you with love and kisses and you will probably get a treat.

ONE LAST THOUGHT: Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, turn around, and present your butt to them. Humans love this, so do it often. And don't forget guests.