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Golden
News
Volume
15, Number 13 - Monday 24 September 2001
Hello
Possums:
 Well it was a typical KGM meeting last week, if you know
what I mean. Firstly, when Sergeant Susie
"Madam Lash" Misini arrived, she inadvertently donned the President's sash
but, on realising her mistake, reverted to the correct regalia. However
when she later confessed to her infraction during her
usual "State of the Union"
address, she recounted how she quickly
"whacked it off"! I only hope
she was still referring to the President's sash. Ahem.
Anyway, if Susie keeps up these antics, she's never going to make Lieutenant; in fact, we may even demote her to Corporal. Perhaps "Corporal Punishment"? Next, our old mate Vice-President Patricia "Hello Possums"
Blair (pictured left), arrived wearing a shocking
pink jacket, a sequined handbag and gaudy sunglasses. The only thing
missing were gladioli, which we presume wilted on the way to the meeting.
Our fearless leader President Ebe "Is it Wednesday?" Tung, is definitely the leading contender for this year's prestigious PP M.V. Ramadasan Punctuality Award, due to the fact that she didn't arrive until well after 1:00 p.m. I guess we shouldn't complain though, as she did eventually turn up, unlike the first incoming board meeting she called when she was still President-Elect, when she was the only person who *didn't* show-up. Anyway, our tardy but lovable leader
welcomed back Kumar "Rumpole"
Ramanathan and KGM Secretary
Clarissa "Ring My" Bellstedt from long
absences. However the Phantom is highly suspicious that they were
both absent during the same period and they both had sheepish grins
on their faces. Hmmm. Maybe young Clarissa has a fetish for men with black
robes and white wigs? Yeee-haaa!
Later on, for reasons
which continue to escape me, Alex "Fists
Of Fury" Lau suddenly stood up and confessed that his
charming wife Gabrielle is a victim of domestic violence!
Apparently our mild-mannered legal eagle Alex is a Taekwando practitioner, and his poor wife is forced to hold his punching pad while he pummels it. Then again, having seen Alex demonstrate one of his kicks during his confession, I reckon the most serious threat to Gabrielle is death due to uncontrollable laughter. I've said it before, and I'll say it
again: there is never a dull moment at KGM.
Our guest speaker was former
Rotarian Ted Thomas who
gave us an enlightening talk about public relations and why it can be far
more effective than advertising.
This Week's Meeting:
This week's speaker is KGM's most decorated member (OK, our only decorated member!), PP Sir Joseph Kwan (a.k.a. "Baron Bundaberg"), who will be giving us a presentation entitled "Breaking the Barriers". This is a Vocational Service talk on the provision of improved physical access for the disabled in Hong Kong. Milestones:
Once again there are no KGM members celebrating birthdays this week. However, for the trivia buffs out there (both of you), on this day in 1968, the TV show "60 Minutes" premiered on American TV. WTC - Fact &
Fiction:
FACT: Those of you who have never visited the World Trade Centre in New York may be surprised to learn that each floor of each tower had a gross area of over 36,000 square feet, which means that Towers 1 & 2 together contained 9.5 million square feet of space. Of course this does not include the other major buildings damaged or destroyed in the attack, such as Towers 5, 6 & 7, the Marriott International Hotel and 1 Liberty Plaza. To give you some perspective on the extent of the physical damage, 9.5 million square feet is equivalent to nine (9) Hong Kong Bank buildings or five (5) Central Plaza (Wanchai North) buildings. FICTION:
If you receive emails concerning various "mysteries" surrounding the recent terrorist attacks in the USA, please check the validity of the "mystery" at the Urban Legends website, instead of just blindly forwarding them onto everybody in your address book. All of the numerous email messages I have received in the wake of the attacks have been absolute nonsense. Next BOD Meeting - Tomorrow
evening:
The next BOD meeting will be held at 6:30 p.m. Tuesday 25 September 2001 at the usual venue, namely 2/F Holiday Inn Golden Mile hotel. All Club Directors (or their delegates), are expected to present an update on their committee's progress for the year to date. This is particularly important for this meeting as it will our last formal opportunity for us to prepare for the official visit to our club by DG Johnson Chu on 10 October 2001. And remember if you are
a male Director (i.e. on
the endangered species list), speak only when spoken to, and the correct
answer to all instructions is:
"Yes, Ma'am". You have
been warned. Of course, if you are also a non-German Director, you will be required to stand to attention and say: "Ya Voll", failing which you will be forced to eat a large bowl of sauerkraut. Member Updates:
Nothing to report. What a boring lot ! Community Service News - Last Call: Our beloved Community Service
Director Silva "Dollar" Yeung reminds members
about our visits to two homes for the
elderly from 3:00 p.m. to 4:30 p.m.
on Saturday 29 September 2001 (this
week!), at which time we will distribute moon cakes to the residents in
observance of the annual "Mid-Autumn Festival".
KGM members willing and able
to participate in this worthwhile "hands-on"
project are asked to contact
Silva by telephone 9048 1198 or by email, as soon as possible.
Fellowship
News:
 Yes folks, it's that time of the year again
when we embark upon our annual Oktoberfest
fellowship. This is when KGM members shamelessly
drink copious amounts of beer, eat enormous sausages and do the chicken
dance, while wearing lederhosen and silly hats. In other words, you get to
act as though you are at a KGM Board meeting!The Oktoberfest Fellowship will be held on Saturday 27 October 2001 at the Marco Polo Hong Kong Hotel (not at the Holiday Inn Golden Mile, as in previous years). The cost is only $300 per head, and this includes two pints of beer served in a souvenir beer stein, a main course, dessert and lots of schnapps. Cheap! Members interested in attending should contact Herr Biermeister David "Oom Pa Pa" Harilela on telephone 9168 8333 or, better still, send him an email which will be efficiently handled by his Secretary "Amazing Grace", who is more organised and much better looking. By the way,
photos from the
fellowship last Friday evening at JJ's at the
Grand Hyatt have been uploaded to the KGM website under
the "Photo
Gallery".
Semi-Annual
Dues - Shame List Finalists:
Chris Carroll, Per Larsen & Hans Peter. Ho-hum.
District 3450 News: 1) The District 10 Pin Bowling Tournament
will be held at the Mei Foo Sun Chuen Fun Bowl on Sunday 28 October 2001. Any KGM members
interested in participating in this event should contact PP Bryan Van Dale on telephone 9481
5586 or by email.
2) A District Vocational
Service Seminar will be held during the regular club meeting of RC
Peninsula from 12:30 p.m. to 2:00 p.m. Tuesday 30 October 2001 at the Hong Kong
Hotel, Tsimshatsui. There is no charge for the seminar; attendees only
need to pay for their lunch.
KGM members interested in attending this seminar should contact KGM Vocational Service Director PP Louis "Trailwalker" Thomas (who needs KGM members to accompany him and buy him beer). Call PP Louis on telephone 9171 3769 or send him an email. Rotary International News: A) September is designated "New Generations month" by
Rotary International, and this essentially refers to youth. For
information about KGM's Rotaract club and
two Interact clubs, click the appropriate links from the
top of our web
site.
B) The 2001 Rotary Institute for RI
Zone 4 will be held from 19-21 October
2001 at the Shangri-La Hotel,
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. For more information about this
event, visit their web site.
C) An RI Presidential PolioPlus Summit will be held from 22-24 February 2002 in Mumbai, India. D) An RI Presidential Conference will be held from 22-24 March 2002 in Taipei, Taiwan. E) The RI Annual Convention will be held in Barcelona, Spain from 23 to 26 June 2002, and you can register on-line here. For more information about the convention, visit their web site. Viva Espana! Web Side Story: Want to see where our Community Service funds have
been disbursed over the last few years? Visit the KGM website and click on
"Community Service" at the top of the page.
Want to know the charter date, charter president and "mother club" of every club in District 3450? Click on Rotary Links & Information at the top of the KGM web site and then click on "Charter Dates". Dear Geek:
Dear Geek, What is the correct protocol for sending emails to multiple recipients? Yours, Ima Thickey. Dear
Ima, The answer to your question is deceptively simple.
Before you send out an email to multiple recipients, ask yourself:
"Does everybody need to know who else is
receiving this message?". If the answer is "Yes", then by
all means include all recipients in the "To" or "Cc" lines of the email
header.
For example, if I want to send a message to, say, the District Governor, it would be courteous and the correct protocol to visibly include the KGM President in the dialogue. In such cases, I would show the DG in the "To" line and the KGM President in the "Cc" line of the message. On the other hand, if I'm sending out a general informative broadcast message which does not require a reply, then the correct protocol is to add all recipients in the "Bcc" line, which conceals the identity of recipients, so that the integrity of their private email addresses is maintained. Items which fall under this category include bulletins (such as this), announcements, jokes and so on. If you always include multiple recipients in the "To" or "Cc" lines, you are assisting potential "spammers" to enlarge their database. Yours, The Geek. Who Am I? What is the more common name of American comedienne/actress
Caryn Johnson?
The answer appears at the bottom of this issue. Cunning
Linguist:
Have you ever wondered about the origins of the word "Loo", which is an inoffensive name for toilet or comfort room? There are many theories about this word, but few firm
facts, and its origin is one of the more celebrated puzzles in word
history. The one thing on which everyone agrees is that it is French in origin, or at least a
corruption of a French phrase, and it has been traced back no
further than James Joyce's "Ulysses" in 1922.
It is generally agreed by etymologists to dismiss the theory that it
comes from the habit of British housewives who, in the days before
plumbing, would warn passers-by on the street below with the cry
"Gardy loo!" before throwing
out the contents of their chamber pots from an upstairs windows
(it is said to be a corrupted form of the French "gardez l'eau!" or "watch out for the
water!"). Golden Smile:
Twenty Rules for Men (written by Women): 1) Call. 2) Don't lie to us. Ever. We will always find
out.
3) If the guy's night out is going to be fun,
invite the girls. If guy's night out is going to involve strippers,
remember the zoo rules: No Petting.
4) The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is
always "No". Ditto for "Is she prettier than me?"
5) Victoria's Secret is good. Frederick's of
Hollywood is bad.
6) Ordering for us is good. Telling us what we
want is bad.
7) A grunt is never an acceptable answer to any
question.
8) Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with
"Nobody" is never going to end that conversation. 9) None of your former girlfriends
were prettier, sexier, better in the kitchen or better in
bed.
10) Buying us dinner does not equal
foreplay.
11) Apologise, even if you don't think you
did anything wrong. You did. Trust me.
12) Don't assume PMS is the cause for every bad
mood. Then again, don't assume PMS doesn't exist.
13) Chivalry and feminism are not mutually
exclusive.
14) Think boxers. Silk boxers. Never wear
briefs unless you have a body like Brad Pitt. You don't. Trust
me.
15) Never, ever kick the cat. We will find
out.
16) If you ever want to have sex again, remember
our birthday but especially Valentine's Day.
17) Never complain about how many pairs of shoes
we own.
18) Compliment our hairstyle, even if it looks
exactly the same as last week.
19) We don't like it when you act like Mr. Big; we
like it when you are Mr.
Big. 20) Flowers and candy may get you off the hook. Diamonds will
definitely get you off the
hook.
Quotable Quotes: "I'm all in favor of keeping
dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with
typewriters".
-- Solomon Short -- The Phantom |
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"Who am I?" answer: Whoopi Goldberg. |
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