|
Golden
News
Volume
15, Number 12 - Monday 17 September 2001
Don't try this
at home:
 No folks,
this is not an optical illusion.
It's just that our guest speaker last
week, Ms. Sravaniya Di
Pecoraro, spoke so convincingly about
the benefits of "Asthanga", an eight limbed Yoga system, that she inspired
our Sergeant Susie "Madam Lash"
Misini (pictured left),
to immediately embrace the concept and become a
practitioner.In fact, I hear that Susie's demonstrations have been
so well received, she has been booked out solid for the rest of the
year. However I don't understand why all her
appearances will be at a series of bachelor parties. Hmmm. Maybe she knows a
few good jokes too?
Anyway,
our last meeting was unusual in another way too, because our Fearless
Leader President Ebe Tung "Chee
Wow" unexpectedly asked everyone to
give each other a loving hug.
While some attendees were fortunate enough to be sitting next to attractive ladies at the time, The Phantom was seated next to Rtn. Robert "The Refrigerator" Finney, one of the visiting Rotarians from the delegation from RC Tsimshatsui East, and our attempt at a hug was reminiscent of two sperm whales mating. Meanwhile,
from the back of the house, KGM Attendance
Director Neerja "Da Numbers" Sujanani reports that our YTD
attendance has suddenly dropped to
77%, however The Phantom suspects that this could be her
dastardly plot to wriggle out of buying us all champagne.
OK guys, don't let her get away with it - let's all do a make-up this week. Bwa-ha-ha! This Week's Meeting:
This week's speaker is Mr. Ted Thomas who will be speaking to us on "Corporate Communications". Ted Thomas has
been living in Hong Kong for many years (possibly as long as PP Louis
Thomas), and he is a highly accomplished public relations
guru, raconteur and bon vivant, very much like your beloved
Phantom.
Milestones:
There are no KGM members celebrating birthdays this week. However, for the trivia buffs out there, on this day in 1964, The Supremes released the song "Baby Love". Next BOD Meeting:
The next BOD meeting will be held at 6:30 p.m. Tuesday 25 September 2001 at the usual venue, namely 2/F Holiday Inn Golden Mile hotel. All Club Directors (or their delegates), will be expected to present an update on their committee's progress for the year to date. This is particularly important for this meeting as it will our last formal opportunity to prepare for the official visit to our club by DG Johnson Chu on 10 October 2001. And remember if you are
a male Director (i.e. on
the endangered species list), speak only when spoken to, and the correct
answer to all instructions is:
"Yes, Ma'am". You have
been warned. Of course, if you are also a non-German Director, you will be required to stand to attention and say: "Ya Voll", failing which you will be forced to eat a dozen enormous sausages. Member Updates:
If anyone has seen KGM Secretary Clarissa "Ring My" Bellstedt, please tell her to come home. All is forgiven. Community Service News: Our
hard-working Community Service Director
Silva "Dollar" Yeung has arranged for us to
visit two homes for the
elderly from 3:00 p.m. to 4:30 p.m.
on Saturday 29 September
2001, at which time KGM members will distribute moon cakes to the residents in
observance of the annual "Mid-Autumn Festival".
KGM members willing and able
to participate in this worthwhile "hands-on"
project are asked to contact
Silva by telephone 9048 1198 or by email.
Fellowship News - Last Call: This month's fellowship is dinner at JJ's Big Grill, at the Grand Hyatt Hotel, from 7:15 p.m. to 10:15 p.m. on Friday 21 September 2001 (this week!). The cost is $320 per head, and this includes a fabulous selection of food, unlimited standard drinks and dancing girls (Elissa, Susie, Patricia, PDG Dipo in drag etc.). Please contact Fellowship Director David "Party Dude"
Harilela by email or telephone
him on 9168 8333 (call
collect!).
Semi-Annual
Dues - Shame List Finalists:
No cheques were received by The Treasurer this week, so our shame list (and the battle for the "Wooden Spoon" award), continues with the same candidates: Chris Carroll, Per Larsen & Hans Peter. Hopefully they will pay up before the next Millennium
commences.
District 3450 News: 1) The District Swimming
Gala will be held from 11:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. on
Sunday 23 September 2001 (next
Sunday!) at the Ma On Shan swimming pool. We wish our
resident swimming champions, IPP Cassidy
"Garoupa" Lam and Rtn. Alex
"Flipper" Lau every success and hope they will once again
be crowned "Kings of the Chlorine"! Splish, splash.
The Phantom refuses to participate in this event because the last time he did, local fisherman tried to harpoon him, in contravention of the international ban on hunting hairy white whales. 2) The District 10 Pin Bowling Tournament
will be held at the Mei Foo Sun Chuen Fun Bowl on Sunday 28 October 2001. Any KGM members
interested in participating in this event should contact PP Bryan Van Dale on telephone 9481
5586 or by email.
3) A District Vocational
Service Seminar will be held during the regular club meeting of RC
Peninsula from 12:30 p.m. to 2:00 p.m. Tuesday 30 October 2001 at the Hong Kong
Hotel, Tsimshatsui. There is no charge for the seminar; attendees only
need to pay for their lunch.
KGM members interested in attending this seminar should contact KGM Vocational Service Director PP Louis "Trailwalker" Thomas (who needs KGM members to accompany him and buy him beer). Call PP Louis on telephone 9171 3769 or send him an email. Lies, damned lies & statistics? According to the DG's August Newsletter, KGM with an average 64.75% attendance, finished 13th out of our 49 clubs in respect of average District Attendance for the year ended 30 June 2001. However we suspect there are errors with the report as RC Wanchai is shown as winner of the District Wooden Spoon award, but their average attendance at 66.33% is higher than ours! The same report shows that RC Hong Kong (a.k.a. "RC of Women Need Not Apply"), dropped from 176 to 135 members during June, which means they lost 41 members in 1 month! Sheesh. They really ought to do something about their food! By the way it seems that KGM, at 56 members, is currently the 4th largest club in District 3450, beaten only by RC Hong Kong (135), RC Kowloon (76) and RC Hong Kong Island West (57). This is not too shabby, especially considering that KGM is still experiencing puberty! Rotary International News:
A) PDG Jonathan B. Majiyagbe of the Rotary Club of Kano, Nigeria has been unanimously nominated as Rotary International President-Nominee for the 2003-3004 Rotary year. More information is available from the RI web site. PDG Jonathan will succeed RI President-Elect Bhichai Rattakul of the RC Dhonburi, Thailand, who will assume office on 1 July 2002. More information about RI PE Bhichai is also available from the RI web site. B) September is designated "New Generations month" by
Rotary International, and this essentially refers to youth. Since
KGM has one Rotaract club and two Interact
clubs under our care, I say we're doing pretty good.
Details of our youth clubs can be found by clicking the appropriate
links from the top of our web
site.
C) The 2001 Rotary Institute for RI
Zone 4 will be held from 19-21 October
2001 at the Shangri-La Hotel,
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. For more information about this
event, visit their web site.
D) An RI Presidential PolioPlus Summit will be held from 22-24 February 2002 in Mumbai, India. E) An RI Presidential Conference will be held from 22-24 March 2002 in Taipei, Taiwan. F) The RI Annual Convention will be held in Barcelona, Spain from 23 to 26 June 2002, and you can register on-line here. For more information about the convention, visit their web site. Viva Espana! Web Side Story: Looking for on-line courier tracking pages, news and
weather sites, measurement converters, dictionaries, date calculators,
country flags, world city or airline codes, the Guinness Book of
Records, information about "The Oscars" or "The Grammy's" or even a
Mark 6 selector ? Visit the KGM web
site and click on "Utilities" on the top of the page, or just
click here.
Want to see which KGM members have web sites? Click on "Member's Web Sites" (duh!) at the top of the KGM web site, or click here. The same hyperlinks are also available from the club "Roster". Dear Geek:
Dear Geek, When I receive junk "Spam" emails, should I just follow their advice by replying to their message, if I want to be removed from their mailing list? Yours, Ivor Biggun. Dear
Ivor, My advice is to never
reply to unsolicited or unwanted junk emails. People who
send out junk "Spam" emails often use software programs which generate
thousands, possibly millions, of "generic" email addresses. The
"spammers" do not always know which of the addresses are correct but,
if you reply to them, then they've got you on
file, and your email address will most likely be sold to
other "spammers", and you will receive even more "Spam".
Another nasty
trap to watch out for are emails containing hyperlinks with your email address
embedded.
The body of the message may simply say "Visit our website" but, if you click on the link, the spammers will be able to track your email address. The way to check whether the hyperlink can track you is to hover your mouse pointer over the link and then check your "status bar" at the bottom of your screen - this is the line just above the Windows "Start" button. For example,
hover (don't click!) your mouse
pointer over these two hyperlinks <Normal
Link> and <Tracker
Link> and then look at your status bar.
Warning: The "tracker link" points to a sex site for demonstration purposes only - click at your own risk! You'll see that the "normal link" just shows a simple web site address (KGM), however the "tracker link" shows a sex web site and includes what would be your email address (I used a fictitious one for this demo). Vive le difference! Yours, The Geek. Who Am I? What is the more common name of British crooner
Gerry Dorsey?
The answer appears at the bottom of this issue. Cunning
Linguist:
Did you know that the expression "he has a chip on his shoulder" was first explained in the newspaper "Long Island Telegraph" of Hempstead, Long Island, on 20 May 1830? On page three of the newspaper it explained
that when two churlish boys were determined to fight, one of them
would place a wood chip on his shoulder, and he would challenge the
other boy to knock it off at his peril. It seems to have been
a challenge in the same spirit as a medieval
knight throwing down his gauntlet. If your opponent
picked up the glove (or knocked the wood chip off your shoulder), the
challenge was accepted and the fight was on. Golden Smile:
Twenty Rules for Women (written by men): 1) If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer. 2) Learn to work the toilet seat.
It's not difficult. If it's up, put it down.
3) Urinating while standing is
more difficult, so we're bound to miss sometimes.
4) Birthdays, Valentines and
Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet
again!
5) No, we don't know what day it is.
We never will. Mark anniversaries on the calendar.
6) Sometimes, we're not thinking
about you. Live with it.
7) Don't ask us what we're thinking
about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the
girls of Baywatch or monster trucks.
8) When we have to go somewhere,
anything you wear is fine. Really.
9) You have enough clothes. You have
too many shoes!
10) Let's be clear on this one -
tell us exactly what you want. Subtle hints don't work. Strong
hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just tell us what you
want!
11) Most guys own three pairs of
shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out
of thirty, would look good with your dress?
12) Yes and No are perfectly
acceptable answers to almost every question.
13) Come to us with a problem only
if you want help solving it. That's what we do. If you want sympathy,
call one of your girlfriends.
14) Anything we said 6 months ago is
inadmissible in an argument.
15) If something we said can be
interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you angry, we meant
the other one.
16) Let us ogle. We're going to look
anyway - it's biology.
17) You can either tell us to do
something or tell us how to do something, but not both.
18) Whenever possible, please say
whatever you have to say during commercials.
19) Men can only see in only 16
colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
20) If it itches, it will be
scratched.
(Next week: Twenty rules for Men, written by women) Quotable Quotes: "A jury consists of twelve persons
chosen to decide who has the better lawyer." - Robert Frost -
The Phantom |
|
"Who am
I?" answer: Englebert Humperdinck |
If you no longer wish to receive this bulletin each week, click here. For previous issues of the bulletin (or to view them in their full HTML glory), visit our archives. © 2001 Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile. All rights reserved. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed herein are those of the author (who is under heavy medication), and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of any other member of the club.