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Golden
News
Volume
15, Number 07 - Monday 13 August 2001
The Naked
Truth:
 Remember last week I promised you a photo
of Susie "Madam Lash"
Misini sunbathing topless on the beach in Ibiza? Well
folks, here it is. Nice hat, huh?What's that you say? You expected a full frontal shot?? Shame on you all, but especially you, Brian "Trenchcoat" Hodgson! Now stop salivating, button up your coat and seek professional help. Anyway, in Susie's absence, acting Sergeant-At-Arms Clarissa "The Dominatrix" Bellstedt, was quite gentle with everybody except for the sexists who were sitting on Table 2 without ladies. Haven't you guys realised that although our overall membership is 75% male, our BOD is 60% female? Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. Speaking
about the fairer sex, KGM Attendance
Director Neerja "Roll Call" Sujanani reports that
our YTD attendance has now crept up to 77%, which is not too shabby,
but we can do better. Keep doing those make-ups for missed meetings and
you won't get beaten up.
In any case, it was great to see that we easily filled four (4) tables at last week's meeting, so I guess the previous week was just an anomaly. Our fearless leader President Ebe Tung "Che Wow" continues to do an excellent job and our meetings are ending closer to 2:00 p.m. each week. At the rate she's going, by Xmas we may actually finish a meeting on time! Last week's guest speaker,
Ms. Stephanie
Kumaria, gave us a very interesting but sobering
presentation on the work of The Samaritans, who operate the only
multi-lingual suicide prevention
hotline in Hong Kong. However it was shocking to learn
they handle over 28,000 calls a year (an average of 75 calls every day!),
and that a large proportion of callers are teenagers and the
elderly.
The Samaritans, in conjunction with the KELY Support Group and Outward Bound, also run the SKO Life Skills Programme, which enables selected students aged between 17 and 19 to undergo suicide prevention training. They are seeking financial assistance of $6,000 per student, and I'm sure the KGM Board will consider giving them our support. This Week's Meeting:
 PP Louis Thomas (pictured left
at a recent fellowship, deeply contemplating the plight of the needy),
will be speaking to us
on "My first 50 years in Hong
Kong". As most of you know, PP Louis arrived in Hong Kong in 1843 as assistant to Hong Kong's first Governor Sir Henry Pottinger. Although he is 158 years old, PP Louis still manages to complete the 100km MacLehose Trail each year on foot, which is something The Phantom can't do with a trail bike. PP Louis was awarded the "Order of the Heineken" by Queen Beatrix of The Netherlands for his unrelenting research on the effects of alcohol. He also received a "Bastos Award" from Philippine President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo for his work with migrant street waifs in Wanchai, whereby he assists in their identification by helping them affix (or adjust) numbers on their flimsy garments. Additionally, PP Louis was recognised by the SPCA and the Fire Services Department for his significant contributions to their centres in Wanchai, namely Club Pussycat and The Firehouse. Milestones: 1. Birthday greetings for Tuesday 14 August to KGM member Mukesh "Mookie" Dayaram, who shares his birthday with American actor/comedian Steve Martin and basketball legend Earvin "Magic" Johnson. 2. Congratulations to KGM Secretary
Clarissa Bellstedt on being the first KGM member this year
to become a contributor to the Rotary Foundation of Rotary International.
Clarissa was recognised as a Paul Harris
Fellow and was presented with her certificate and other
regalia at last weeks' meeting.
3. Get Well Soon
wishes to PDG Peter Hall (RC Hong Kong Island East),
who is recuperating in San
Francisco after receiving medical treatment. PDG Peter is
an avid reader and supporter of the Golden News, which means I can't make
jokes about him. Drat!
4. Congratulations to PDG Arthur Au (RC Peninsula), on being awarded the Rotary International "Service Above Self Award" for the 2000/2001 Rotary year. Member Updates:
1) Rtn. Kenneth "So And" So advises that his new email address is tangnso@netvigator.com. Apparently this one will work occasionally! In any case, we welcome Kenneth to his first issue of Golden News this year. Now if we can just convince KGM Rotary Foundation Director Miranda "King" Kong to stop switching off her email server between Friday nights and Monday mornings (due to her legitimate concern that it may catch fire and burn down the entire Kwun Tong area), our "undeliverable" email folder will be empty, and that's a good thing! 2) Former KGM member Isaac Sofaer, who migrated to Australia some years ago with his charming wife Susanna, may be relocating to Hong Kong soon, and Isaac has expressed an interest in rejoining KGM. This is excellent news because Isaac was always an active and respected member of KGM. More news to follow in due course. Fellowship
News:
Our funky Fellowship Director David "Party Dude" Harilela reminds members of the next KGM fellowship called "Old Is Gold Night" (??) to be held on Saturday 25 August 2001, at Jimmy's Kitchen, Tsimshatsui. More details are available on the KGM web site and in the email David has sent to members. Please contact David directly by email or by telephone to 9168 8333 to confirm your attendance and/or if you require more information. David also announced that his fellowship committee is now complete, following the recruitment (under duress) of Brian "Fred Scuttle" Hodgson, Mazhar "Bizarre" Sultana and Hans "Sergeant Schultz" Peter. What a motley crew! Semi-Annual
Dues - Provisional Shame List:
Well folks, despite repeated reminders in this bulletin and numerous verbal reminders from The President at regular club meetings, the following thirteen (13) members have still not paid their semi-annual dues for the period July to December 2001, and are therefore delinquent: Chris Carroll, Balu Chainrai, Lal Daryanani, Per Larsen, Alex Lau, Norman Liu, Susie Misini, Hans Peter, Jagdish Pursram, Amy Shum, Nasreen Ting, Notan Tolani & Silva Yeung. If your name appears above
but you have paid your dues,
the Club Treasurer expresses his most sincere
apologies and asks that you email him with
full details of your payment
(i.e. bank name, cheque number, the name of the mysterious company
you used etc.).
However if you have
not paid your dues and you
would like to save time with your excuse, please use the following
codes:
Code 1: I was abducted by aliens, so I couldn't attend the last 6 meetings. Code 2: I attended the last 6 meetings but
I'm hard of hearing. What was that? Huh?
Code 3: I was too busy reading joke emails
to read the last 6 bulletins.
Code 4: Non parlo Inglesi / Je ne parle pas
Anglais / Ich spreche nicht Englisch / Que?
Code 5: The cheque is in the
mail.
Code 6: Who, me?
Code
7: You mean we have to pay every 6 months?
Code 8: Since you have nothing better to do
than chase members for payments, you should've called
me.
Code 9: You're not very nice, so I volunteer to be Club Treasurer. District 3450 News: 1) A District Rotary
Foundation Seminar will be held from 9:00 a.m. to
3:00 p.m. Saturday 8 September
2001 at the Hong Kong Academy of Medicine Jockey Club
Building, 99 Wong Chuk Hang Road, Aberdeen, Hong Kong. The
registration fee is HK$320 per person, which includes lunch. The keynote
speaker will be Regional Rotary Foundation
Coordinator PDG Jackson Hsieh from
Taiwan. The Rotary Foundation of Rotary International does tremendous work around the world and additional information about the various programs they undertake can be obtained at their web pages. 2) A web page introducing District Governor-Elect PP Gloria Chan (RC Queensway), our first female DG, has been launched on the District web site. District 3450 Commentary: While I respect the good intentions of DG Johnson Chu in his stated district goal to charter two or three new clubs in our district this year (possibly as a result of annual pressure from RI), The Phantom believes this is sheer folly. Although membership growth is an essential part of any service organisation the fact is that, according to the district membership attendance report for May 2001, sixteen (16) of the forty-seven (47) clubs in District 3450 have fewer than 25 members, RI's minimum requirement to obtain a charter. Moreover, four (4) of those clubs have fewer than fifteen (15) members, which means they are smaller than the KGM Board! Worst still, some of these clubs reported attendance of less than 60%, which means some clubs had as few as six (6) members attending their meetings. These are more akin to poker clubs than Rotary Club meetings! Clearly any attempt to charter new clubs in the District, when we have so many clubs struggling to survive, is not the answer. Before we can embark upon an expansion, we must strengthen the clubs which already exist and help them to grow. If this approach is unsuccessful, then perhaps consolidating two or more weaker clubs or seeking stronger clubs to absorb weaker ones, is a viable alternative. Tough decisions need to be made and continued procrastination or attempting to charter new clubs under these circumstances will do nothing but exasperate the problem. Rotary International News: A) August is designated "Membership & Extension month" by Rotary International, so now would be a good time for KGM to induct a member or two. Click here for more information. You can expect to hear more about this from KGM Membership Director Diana "The Red Baron" Chou. Hello? HELLO? Diana?? In support of Rotary's Global Quest, PDG Dipo "Jiminy" Sani has already urged KGM Past Presidents to lead the way by asking each of them to introduce at least one new member this year. B) The next RI Annual Convention will be held in Barcelona, Spain from 23 to 26 June 2002, and you can register on-line here. Acometidas! Web Side Story:
Need basic information about KGM members? Click on Roster at the top of the KGM Web Site. From there you will also find hyperlinks to the Old Boys & Girls Roster of former KGM members and to the "Member's Only" section, which provides more comprehensive information, including contact details. A user name and password is required and, if you have forgotten yours, email the Web Monster. Want to Report a Make-Up, request a Leave of Absence or Sponsor a New Member? Click on Forms at the top of the Web Site, and do
it on-line. Yeah, baby!
By the way, did you
know the KGM web site has been rated by
"ICRA", the Internet Content Rating Association, making it
an "approved" site for visits by children? The KGM web site is also "Bobby Approved", because it has satisfied
the basic requirements for viewing by people with disabilities.
Click on the two logos at the bottom of the web site for more information. Dear Geek: Dear Geek, I often receive urgent email
messages warning me of an impending disaster, and the sender urges me to
forward the message to everybody I know. What should I do
? Yours, Ima Sucquer.
Dear Ima, The short answer is delete them! There are many so-called "Urban Legends" circulating by email and these are rarely, if ever, true. More often than not, they are simply forwarded by recipients who believe there is "no harm in doing so" or "it's better to be safe than sorry". The most common of these are virus hoaxes, spurious health warnings, appeals to help someone who is ill, "get rich quick" schemes and character (or company) assassinations. One recent email "warning" advises that if you eat shrimps soon after consuming Vitamin C, you will die. As this is yet another undocumented rumour, delete it if you receive it. Remember that a very large proportion of email users are children (or adults with the commonsense of children!). If you wish to verify the accuracy of an "email warning" before you make a fool of yourself, an excellent reference source is the Urban Legends web site. Cunning Linguist:
Did you know that the meaning of the term "scot free" (e.g. "He got off scot free"), has nothing to do with being Scottish or tight-fisted? As with the word "hopscotch", "scot free" has no connection with Scotsmen, frugal or otherwise. It's a Scandinavian word meaning "payment". The expression derives from a medieval municipal tax levied in proportional shares on inhabitants, often for poor relief. This was called a "scot", as an abbreviation of the full term "scot and lot", where "scot" was the sum to be paid and "lot" was one's allotted share. This tax lasted a long time and, in some places such as Westminster, right up to the electoral reforms of 1832, with only those paying "scot and lot" being allowed to vote. Hence somebody who avoided paying his share of the town's expenses for any reason got off "scot free". Golden Smile:
An elderly lady was standing at a bus stop on a windy day. As she was using both hands to keep her hat on her head, she could not stop the wind from causing her dress to rise. A distinguished
gentleman approached her and said: "Madam, you should be ashamed
of yourself. How can you allow your dress to blow up like that, while you
stand there holding your hat with both hands?"
"Look" she replied
"everything under the dress is 70 years old. The hat is brand
new!"
Quotable Quotes:
"Instead of getting married again,
I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a
house." Lewis
Grizzard
The Phantom |
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