Golden News
Volume 16, Number 42 - Monday 14 April 2003
The official bulletin of the Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile is published
most Mondays and is distributed to all club members, District officials and
other "friends of KGM".

Winner "Best English Language Bulletin" in District 3450, 2001/2002
KGM Regular Meeting Cancelled:
 
Well folks, sorry for the slight delay in getting out this week's bulletin, but I was anxiously waiting for our Fearless Leader President Nanu "Nanu" Lachman to make his final decision, and I trust you've all received his message advising that the regular KGM lunch this week has been cancelled.

It's a tough call to make but I, for one, think he's done the right thing in shielding KGM from being seen as promoting official functions contrary to Health Department recommendations. In any case, most other Rotary Clubs in Hong Kong, and numerous other organisations, have also cancelled meetings so we're going with, not against, the flow.
 
However President Nanu has arranged for our fearless (and let's hope they're not foolhardy), KGM members who think the whole issue of SARS has been overstated, to meet for an unofficial lunch on Wednesday. There's no need to book; just turn up, if you're so inclined. The relevant details are contained in his message.

However please note that attendance at the lunch is entirely optional.

Anyway, the streets of Hong Kong are definitely much quieter than usual these days, and it's clear that tourism-related businesses are really hurting. Cathay Pacific has reported a 60% drop in business and I understand most hotels have record low occupancy rates at the moment, with some reporting figures as low as only 5%.

I therefore expect that our pals at the Holiday Inn will be delighted to see whoever turns up for the unofficial lunch.

It also seems that both vehicular and pedestrian traffic is down by at least 40% recently, and walking around Hong Kong is a surreal experience. With so many people wearing surgical masks, I expect to run into George Clooney and the rest of the cast of "ER" any day now.

In closing, I urge you all to continue taking reasonable health precautions, especially if you have young children, elderly or family members with other pre-existing ailments, as they appear to be the most vulnerable to SARS.

And advance Happy Easter to all.

This Week's Meeting:

Cancelled.
 
 
Milestones:

Wow. This week we have four members to whom we can send our heartiest birthday greetings:
 
14 April - Pico "Lino" Dialdas who shares his birthday with British actor Sir John Gielgud;
 
15 April - Lal "Ique" Daryanani who shares his birthday with Italian artist Leonardo da Vinci;
 
18 April - Leigh "Non Me" Kennedy who shares his birthday with American actor James Woods;
 
21 April - Romu "The Fairly Impressive" Bellani who shares her birthday with Russian Empress Catherine the Great.

 
BOD Meeting:
 
KGM Directors are reminded that  the next BOD meeting is scheduled to be held 6:30 p.m. on Tuesday 22 April, 2003, at the usual venue, namely the conference room on the 2nd floor of the Holiday Inn Golden Mile.

However in view of the health situation in Hong Kong, final confirmation will be issued on the day.
 
In the interim period, Directors are asked to call KGM President Nanu "Nanu" Lachman on telephone 9025 6699 or KGM Secretary David "Cares" Harilela on phone 9168 8333 as soon as possible, to advise whether or not they will attend the meeting, should it go ahead as planned.

This information is required in respect of whether or not we'll be likely to achieve a quorum.
 
 
Fellowship News:

Our old mate Fellowship Director Miranda "King" Kong has organised a Thai style Hot Pot and garden BBQ Buffet at the Gold Coast Yacht and Country Club from 6:30 p.m. on Saturday 26 April 2003.
 
The price is a very reasonable HK$300.00 per adult, HK$160.00 per child, which includes the Fire Services Department standing by to extinguish flames shooting out of your mouth caused by the excessive consumption of chilies.
 
Members interested in attending should contact Miranda on telephone 9199 3077 or by email.


Annual Ball:

Yes folks, it' party time once again. Let's hope our health scare is over by then, because it's really difficult to find a formal surgical mask (however my disposable ear muffs will be available in black).

Anyway, our 16th Anniversary Ball will be held, as usual, at the Grand Hyatt Hotel on Saturday 24th May, 2003, and this year's theme is "Bollywood Hunks and Hollywood Babes". Hey, don't blame me, OK? I don't make these things up - I'm just the Bulletin Editor.

An image of the souvenir program can be seen here.

Of course "Bollywood" refers to the Indian version of Hollywood. This means aspiring actors and actresses still have to sleep around with Directors and Producers to get good parts, however the difference is that they have far more creative sexual positions, such as "The Tandoori Tango" and the "Naan Nonny Nonny".

Tickets are $1,200 per person and members are encouraged to organise a table of 10 people. No, you don't have to pay for everybody, just try your best to organise one. Hell, even I can organise a table, eventhough I don't have any friends and everybody hates me. Rather sad, really.

The key conspirators this year are:

Ball Chairpersonthingy: Elissa "Peanuts" Cohen (9481 8378),

Ticket sales: IPP Ebe Tung "Chee Watusi" (9186 6792),

Souvenir Program Advertising: Neerja "Da Beer-ja" Sujanani (9070 5096) and

Raffle Prizes: Diana "You make me feel so" Yeung (9197 8615).
 
Call them. NOW!
 

Walkathon Update - Reminder: 

Our old mate President-Elect Patricia "Iron Lady" Blair (a.k.a. SWMBO), thinks those of you who participated in the recent Walkathon are all decent sort of chaps, but now she needs some booty.
 
No, no, no. Not that sort of booty, Homie ............. she means money. Duh!

Please send a cheque payable to Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile to "KGM Walkathon", P.O. Box 98129, Tsimshatsui as soon as possible, in respect of all the money you raised.
 
And remember to write your name on the rear of your cheque so that Her Royal Frivolity can identify you.
 
Fund-Raising KGM Polio Plus Cookbook:
 
"Dining In with Great Chefs of Hong Kong" at only HK$188 (US$25) per copy is excellent value. An image of the cover has been uploaded to the KGM website.

To purchase your copies, contact President-Elect Patricia "Iron Lady" Blair on telephone 9312 3606 or by email or you can order copies online by major credit card through PayPal.

 
District 3450 News:
 
 
1) A number of Rotary Clubs in District 3450 have cancelled meetings due to the SARS virus, and notices are published on the District website. While this list is not exhaustive, KGM members intending to visit other Rotary Clubs are advised to check the list before proceeding, in order to avoid possible disappointment.
 
 
2) The District Contract Bridge Tournament will be held from 1:00pm to 6:00pm on Sunday 27 April at the Mariner's Club, Tsimshatsui. Members interested in participating should contact organiser Winston Wong on telephone 9213 0303 or by email.


3) The 43rd Annual District Assembly at the Kowloon Shangri-La Hotel, Tsimshatsui East, has been rescheduled to the new date Sunday 18 May, 2003.

 
Rotary International News:
 

1) RI has established new Rotary Centers for International Studies in peace and conflict resolution. More information is available on the RI website.

2) RI has responded to the World Health Organisation launch of a series of National Immunisation Days against Polio in Lucknow, capital city of Uttar Pradesh, India. More information is available on the RI website.

 
Rotary Information: 
 
Public Relations: Historically, Rotarians perpetuated a myth that Rotary should not seek publicity, but rather let our good works speak for themselves. A 1923 policy stating that "publicity should not be the primary goal of a Rotary club in selecting an activity" of community service, was frequently interpreted to mean that Rotary clubs should avoid publicity and public relations efforts.
 
Actually, the 1923 statement further observed that "as a means of extending Rotary's influence, proper publicity should be given to a worthwhile project well carried out."
 
A more modern public relations philosophy was adopted in the mid- 1970s which affirms that "good publicity, favorable public relations and a positive image are desirable and essential goals for Rotary" if it is to foster understanding, appreciation and support for its Object and programs and to broaden Rotary's service to humanity. Active public relations is vital to the success of Rotary.
 
A service project well carried out is considered one of the finest public relations messages of Rotary. It is essential that Rotary clubs make every effort to inform the public about their service projects which have been well performed.
 
As Rotary clubs and districts consider effective public relations, it is important to remember that when Rotarians think of Rotary, we think of our noble goals and motives. But when the world thinks of Rotary, it can only think of our actions and the service we have performed. .


Ask The Geek:
 
Dear Geek, I'm very concerned because I regularly receive warnings about computer viruses and other nasties, which urge me to delete files on my computer, take a bath in a solution of 50% bleach and 50% Dettol and to change my socks every week. What should I do? Yours truly, Ima Dingbat.


Dear Ima, Well I'd definitely change your socks every Saturday, whether you need to or not.
 
As far as the "virus" warnings are concerned, most (if not all) of them are merely hoaxes intended to scare the doo-doo out of you, and they are invariably perpetuated by good-intentioned but misguided friends who, due to being in a state of hypnosis, often do what they're told in emails without a second thought. Silly sods.
 
Anyway, there are two primary clues to help you identify a hoax:
 
1) The subject heading shows "Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Virus Warning! Urgent! Panic!"
 
2) The body of the message urges you to "Forward this to everybody you know".
 
However my advice is to immediately delete such emails, then have a cup of tea and a Prozac. However if you'd like to verify the authenticity of the warning first, visit this website and scroll down to see if the name of the "virus" is listed.

If it is, you can impress your friends, who should each buy you a beer.


Who Am I?
 
What is the more common name of comedian Arthur Stanley Jefferson? Clue: He was half of a very famous slapstick comedy duo.
 
The answer appears at the bottom of this issue.
 
 
Golden Smile: 
 
Unattributed "Random Thoughts":
  1. Half the people you know are below average.
  2. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
  3. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  4. Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
  5. All those who believe in psychokinetics, raise my hand.
  6. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  7. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
  8. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
  9. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
  10. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
  11. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  12. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
  13. I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
  14. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  15. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
  16. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
  17. My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
  18. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
  19. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  20. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
  21. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
  22. The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
  23. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
  24. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
  25. The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
 
Quotable Quotes:

 
"A man always has two reasons for doing anything; a good reason and the real reason".
 
J. P. Morgan
 
 
The Phantom
Who Am I answer: Stan Laurel of "Laurel & Hardy".

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