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Golden News
Volume 16, Number 18 - Monday 28 October 2002
The official bulletin of the Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile is published
most Mondays and is distributed to all club members, District officials and other "friends of KGM". Winner "Best English Language Bulletin" in District 3450, 2001/2002
This Week's Meeting:
Our speaker this week is Ms. Julia Simon on the topic "Cleaning up Hong Kong's air pollution". Hopefully Ms. Simon will not place all the blame for the current problems on the Web Monster and his smoking!
Milestones:
Birthday greetings for 28 October to our old mate Liam "Leprechaun" Drake,
who shares his birthday with Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates and actress Julia Roberts who, by an amazing coincidence, is also involved in the computer industry, because she can turn a floppy into a
hard disk just by appearing on TV.
Well, it works for me ........
Fellowship News:
KGM Fellowship Director Miranda "King" Kong, announces that our next fellowship event will be a BBQ at the Hong Kong Gold Coast Yacht Club, Tuen Mun.
The BBQ will commence at 6:00 p.m. on Saturday 23 November 2002 but those so inclined can partake of earlier
activities, however details are still sketchy at the moment.
KGM members who are interested in attending should contact Miranda by telephone on 9199
3077 or by email.
District 3450 News:
1) The District 10 Pin Bowling Tournament, organised by the RC New Territories, will be held on Sunday
3 November 2002 at the Mei Foo Super Fun Bowl.
For information, visit the District website
or contact George Law on telephone 9011 7972.
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2) A "Walk for a Polio-Free World", co-organised by the RC Bayview Sunshine Hong Kong, will be held on Sunday 10 November 2002, at the Open Plaza, Peak Plaza, Hong Kong. Registration commences at 8:30 a.m., there will be a brief ceremony at 9:00 a.m. followed by the
60-75 minute walk which commences at 9:30 a.m.
For information, contact Vivien Yuen by email. Note that registration & sponsorship form can be downloaded from the District website, however use your "right-click" and "Save As" function to download it, otherwise your computer may crash (it's a "DOC" file, not a "PDF" file).
Rotary International News:
1) Rotary's Centennial: Various materials are now available online to help clubs and districts promote Rotary's 100th anniversary in their communities. These include a planning calendar, examples of outstanding club projects, historical photos and 35mm slides, timeline, poster, the Rotary Centennial logo (pictured left), and other public relations tools which Rotarians can download and use for promoting Rotary's 100th birthday. 2) KGM Club Secretary David "Party Dude" Harilela has been appointed "On To Brisbane Chairman" in respect of the next RI Convention to be held in Brisbane, Australia from 1-4 June 2003.
Visit the RI website or the
event website for more information, or contact David on 9168 8333 or by email.
Who Am I?: What is the more common name of actor Nicolas Coppola?
The answer appears at the bottom of this issue.
Dear Geek:
The Geek is currently busy organising transferring files to the new notebook computer he had to buy when the keyboard on his old notebook suddenly
decided to give up.
In the meantime, he sent us a rather unusual time link which he thinks
will amuse many of you for an hour or so.
Golden Smile:
The following is reputedly a true transcript of a British High Court case currently in progress, reported recently in The Independent newspaper on 15 October 2002:
(Apparently a man named Chrysler is accused of stealing more than 40,000 coat hangers from hotels round the world):
Counsel: What is your name?
Chrysler: Chrysler. Arnold Chrysler.
Counsel: Is that your own name?
Chrysler: Whose name do you think it is?
Counsel: I am just asking if it is your name.
Chrysler: And I have just told you it is. Why do you doubt it?
Counsel: It is not unknown for people to give a false name in court.
Chrysler: Which court?
Counsel: This court.
Chrysler: What is the name of this court?
Counsel: This is No 5 Court.
Chrysler: No, that is the number of this court. What is the name of this court?
Counsel: It is quite immaterial what the name of this court is!
Chrysler: Then perhaps it is immaterial if Chrysler is really my name.
Counsel: No, not really, you see because...
Judge: Mr. Lovelace?
Counsel: Yes, M'lud?
Judge: I think Mr. Chrysler is running rings round you already. I would try a new line of attack if I were you.
Counsel: Thank you, M'lud.
Chrysler: And thank you from me, M'lud. It's nice to be appreciated.
Judge: Shut up, witness.
Chrysler: Willingly, M'lud. It is a pleasure to be told to shut up by you. For you, I would...
Judge: Shut up, witness. Carry on, Mr. Lovelace.
Counsel: Now, Mr. Chrysler – for let us assume that that is your name – you are accused of purloining in excess of 40,000 hotel
coat hangers.
Chrysler: I am.
Counsel: Can you explain how this came about?
Chrysler: Yes. I had 40,000 coats which I needed to hang up.
Counsel: Is that true?
Chrysler: No.
Counsel: Then why did you say it?
Chrysler: To attempt to throw you off balance.
Counsel: Off balance?
Chrysler: Certainly. As you know, all barristers seek to undermine the confidence of any hostile witness, or defendant. Therefore it
must be equally open to the witness, or defendant, to try to shake the confidence of a hostile barrister.
Counsel: On the contrary, you are not here to indulge in cut and thrust with me. You are only here to answer my questions.
Chrysler: Was that a question?
Counsel: No.
Chrysler: Then I can't answer it.
Judge: Come on, Mr. Lovelace! I think you are still being given the run-around here. You can do better than that. At least, for the
sake of the English bar, I hope you can.
Counsel: Yes, M'lud. Now, Mr. Chrysler, perhaps you will describe what reason you had to steal 40,000 coat hangers?
Chrysler: Is that a question?
Counsel: Yes.
Chrysler: It doesn't sound like one. It sounds like a proposition which doesn't believe in itself. You know – "Perhaps I will
describe the reason I had to steal 40,000 coat hangers... Perhaps I won't... Perhaps I'll sing a little song instead..."
Judge: In fairness to Mr. Lovelace, Mr. Chrysler, I should remind you that barristers have an innate reluctance to frame a question
as a question. Where you and I would say, "Where were you on Tuesday?", they are more likely to say, "Perhaps you could now inform the court of your precise whereabouts on the day after
that Monday?". It isn't, strictly, a question, and it is not graceful English, but you must pretend that it is a question and then answer it, otherwise we will be here for ever. Do you
understand?
Chrysler: Yes, M'lud.
Judge: Carry on, Mr. Lovelace.
Counsel: Mr. Chrysler, why did you steal 40,000 hotel coat hangers, knowing as you must have that hotel coat hangers are designed to
be useless outside hotel wardrobes?
Chrysler: Because I build and sell wardrobes which are specially designed to take nothing but hotel coat hangers ......
The case continues ......
Quotable Quotes:
"More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray
that we have the wisdom to choose correctly"
-- Woody Allen --
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| "Who Am I?" answer: Nicolas Cage. |
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