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Golden News
Volume 16, Number 14 - Monday 30 September 2002
The official bulletin of the Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile is published
every Monday and is distributed to all club members, District officials and other "friends of KGM". Winner "Best English Language Bulletin" in District 3450, 2001/2002
I'm Back .......
Yes folks, the rumours of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.
I've just returned from two weeks in South Africa where I attended the World Championships of my shooting group. These are held every three years and regular readers
will recall that the last one was held in Cebu in 1999.
Despite taking two pistols and enough ammunition to start a small war, I didn't even get to fire a single shot. Still, eventhough I worked my derriere off serving as a match official, I had a ball and it was great to catch up with dozens of friends from over 50 different countries. However the best part of my trip was making new friends, like my new buddy Kawabunga, pictured left. He didn't do very well in the pistol events but, boy, he was untouchable when it came to spears. And penis sheaths.
South Africa is a magnificent country: the people were extremely friendly and the cost of living was cheaper than my regular haunt, the Philippines. In fact, the country
reminded me in many ways of Australia, except I didn't see any kangaroos. On the other hand, the "Big 5" (Lion, Leopard, Elephant, Rhino and Cape Buffalo) are majestic animals,
which certainly make men feel insignificant.
This Week's Meeting:
Our speaker this week is from the "Hong Kong Eating Disorders Association", however our illustrious Program Director Carola "Need To Know" Chard has not revealed the speaker's name or sent me a CV. She could probably tell me, but I'm afraid she may then have to kill me.
Milestones:
Birthday greetings for 1 October to PP
Robin "Da Hood" Ching, who shares his birthday with former US President Jimmy Carter.
Birthday greetings for 2 October to Diana "The Red Baron" Chou, who shares her birthday with the late Groucho Marx of Marx Brothers fame. Welcome:
On behalf of the Board and members of KGM, we extend a warm welcome to our newest member Mr.
Leigh Kennedy, who was inducted into KGM on 25 September 2002.
In the unlikely event that you have not introduced yourself to Leigh, please do so at your earliest opportunity.
Fellowship News:
KGM Fellowship Director Miranda "King" Kong, who changes her mind more often than I change underwear (i.e.
every other day), announces that the next KGM fellowship will be a Harilela Hoedown, an event graciously hosted by Avisha and David "Party Dude" Harilela.
This event will commence at 7:00 p.m. on Friday 25 October at the Harilela Mansion, 1 Durham Road, Kowloon
Tong (a.k.a. Holiday Inn North). KGM members who are able to attend should contact Miranda by telephone on 9199 3077
or by email.
District 3450 News:
1) District 3450 has embarked upon an ambitious, 10 year project to immunise 1 million infants in China against the deadly Hepatitis B virus. Full details of the project are available on the District website). A number of fund raising events have been planned, the first being a premiere of the action/comedy movie "Tuxedo", starring Jackie Chan and Jennifer Love Hewitt, which will be shown on Monday 7 October at the Hong Kong Convention and Exhibition Centre. Tickets cost $1,000. Chairman of the "Hepatitis B Immunisation Fund Raising Project" is our old mate David Harilela, who KGM members should contact on telephone 9168 8333 or by email for more information.
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2) As October is Vocational Service month, a Vocational Service Seminar will be held from 12:30 p.m. to 2:00 p.m. on Tuesday 8 October 2002 at the Centenary Room, Hong Kong Hotel, Kowloon, Canton Road, Tsim Sha Tsui. The event will be conducted during the regular club meeting of the RC Peninsula and it is being co-hosted by RC Happy Valley. The cost of the lunch is HK$240 inclusive of a drink.
KGM Members interested in attending should contact Neerja Sujanani by telephone on 9070 5096 or by email.
+++++ 3) The District Conference will be held on Saturday and Sunday, 19 & 20 October at the Macau Tower Convention and Exhibition Centre. The keynote speaker will be Mr. Edmond Ho, Chief Executive of the Macau SAR. For more information, please contact Club Secretary David Harilela on telephone 9168 8333 or by email
Rotary International News:
2) The next RI Convention will be held in Brisbane, Australia from 1-4 June 2003. Visit the official website for more information. Who Am I?: What is the more common name of American actress Anna Maria Italiano? The answer appears at the bottom of this issue.
Dear Geek:
There is no installment this week.
Golden Smile:
Harold is 95 and lives in a senior citizens home. Every evening after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life. One evening, Mildred, aged 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"
"What?" she asks.
"Sex" replies Harold, enthusiastically. Mildred exclaims, "Why you dirty old man. I bet you couldn't perform if your life depended on it!" "I know," Harold says, "but it would sure be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while." "Well, I can oblige" says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.
One night, Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K. She walked around the senior citizens home
where she finally found him sitting by the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was holding Harold's manhood.
Furious Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have that I don't have?"
"Parkinson's" replied Harold.
Quotable Quotes:
"The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation. Among other functions, the hypothalamus controls
the "Four F's": 1. fighting; 2. fleeing; 3.feeding; and 4. mating.
-- Anonymous psychology professor, Yale University --
The Phantom |
| "Who Am I?" answer: Anne Bancroft. |
If you no longer wish to receive this bulletin each week, click here. For previous issues of the bulletin (or to view them in their full HTML glory), visit our archives. © 2002 Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile. All rights reserved. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed herein are those of the author (who is under heavy medication), and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of any other member of the club.