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Golden News
Volume 16, Number 09 - Monday 26 August 2002
The official bulletin of the Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile is published
every Monday and is distributed to all club members, District officials and other "friends of KGM". Winner "Best English Language Bulletin" in District 3450, 2001/2002
This Week's Meeting:
Our speaker this week is Mr. Graham Bibby, and the topic of the presentation is (presumably) "Asset Management". Mr. Graham Bibby is the managing director of Richmond Asset Management Ltd, which he founded in Hong Kong in 1992. He holds an impressive history of public speaking and media involvement, frequently appearing on CNBC, Reuters and CNN. Recognition of Graham’s expertise in the financial world appears in the publication of work for the South China Morning Post, the Asian Wall Street Journal and Executive Magazine. He speaks regularly at Investment Forums, Rotary Clubs and business chambers travelling extensively throughout Europe and Asia.
Milestones:
Birthday greetings for Monday 26 August to Sonya Wu who shares her birthday with actor Macaulay Culkin, star of the movie "Home Alone".
Fellowship News:
KGM Fellowship Director Miranda "King" Kong has announced another fellowship for month of August!
This will be a free cocktail party to be held from 6:30 p.m. to 8:00 p.m, Thursday 29
August 2002, (this week) at the Maman Room, Regal Kowloon Hotel, Tsimshatsui East. Presumably those interested can carry on elsewhere
after the freebie.
District 3450 News:
1) The District Rotary Foundation Seminar will be held from 9:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. on Saturday 7 September 2002 at the New World Renaissance Hotel, Tsimshatsui, so I expect KGM Rotary Foundation Director PP "Butch" Cassidy Lam will be looking for victims, er, volunteers to accompany him. Meanwhile, visit the District website for more information. +++++
2) The District Swimming Gala will be held on Sunday 29 September
2002 at the Ma On Shan Swimming Pool. The truly exciting news is that, under the capable guidance of former Fearless Leader PP Cassidy "Flipper"
Lam, KGM is the host club for the event.
If you recall, at last year's event PP Cassidy won two prestigious honours for KGM, namely the "Briefest Speedo Trunks Filled To Capacity" award and the much coveted "My What Huge Pecs You Have" award. However since KGM are the organisers of the event this year, we're going to ensure there are more awards available for categories where KGM will excel. These include a "Biggest Belly Flop With A Half Twist Of Lemon" award, the "Hairiest Nipples" award and the "Beached Whale Impersonation" award. If you are willing and able to assist Cassidy, please contact him by email or by telephone 9031 2883.
Rotary International News:
The next RI Convention will be held in Brisbane, Australia from 1-4 June 2003. Visit the official website for more information. Who Am I?: What is the more common name of actor/comedian Donald James Yarmy?
The answer appears at the bottom of this issue.
Dear Geek:
Often when I receive junk or "spam" emails, there are instructions on how to get my email address removed from the sender's mailing list. Should I do as they
suggest? Yours Ivana Humpalot.
Dear Ivana, Absolutely not. This is a trap for young players. Many "spammers" use software programs which generate hundreds and thousands of email addresses in the hope that many of them will be correct. However if you respond, the "spammers" will know for certain that your email address exists, and you'll find that you will actually receive more junk in your inbox, not less. You should either ignore them or, if possible, set up your "filters" in your email software to automatically block further messages from the same source.
One of my filters instructs my email software not to download any messages from free email accounts such as "Yahoo", "Hotmail", "MSN" and another 50 such
services.
Once a week, I log onto my server to scan for legitimate messages, but my experience has shown that only 1% are legitimate. People who wish to be taken seriously will never use a free email service provider. Yours, The Geek.
Golden Smile:
A middle aged women decides to have a face lift for her birthday. She spends $5000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a
newspaper.
Before leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 32," was the reply. The woman very proudly tells the clerk, "Well actually I'm 47". A little while later she goes into McDonald's and she asks the counter girl the very same question. The girl replies, "My guess is you're 29."
The woman replies, "Nope, I'm 47."
Now she's feeling really good about herself and her next stop is a pharmacy. She goes up to the counter to buy some mints and asks the clerk the same question. The clerk responds, "Oh Madam, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responds, "I'm 47, but thank you."
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man the same question. He replies, "Madam, I'm 78 and my eyesight is failing however when I was young, there was a sure way to tell a woman's age. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then I can tell you exactly how old you are." They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead." He slips both of his hands under her blouse and under her bra and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. After a couple of minutes of this, the woman asks,"Okay, okay, what's my age?" The man completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands and says, "Madam, you are 47 years old." Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible. How did you know?" The man replied, "I was standing behind you at McDonald's."
Quotable Quotes:
"I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married I call them, and they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me".
-- Dick Martin --
The Phantom |
| "Who Am I?" answer: Don Adams (from "Get Smart"). |
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