GOLDEN
NEWS
Volume 14 No
32
20th February, 2001
The
Weekly Bulletin of the Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile
February is
World Understanding Month
Birthday Boys
and Girls
There appear to be none, unless
some of you are holding out on us! Or some of the newer members haven't told us
yet. We could of course make Wednesday the unbirthday of Rotarian John Li. Choir
practice anyone?
Last
Meeting
Sex and
Romance
Last weeks speaker, Dr Judith
Mackay, FRCP (Edin), FRCP (Lon), FHKAM, who last spoke to us several years ago
(on the subject of smoking) gave a fascinating talk on the above theme which had
the Club Members sitting on the edges of their chairs and paying much more
attention than usual. I wonder why? Following are the notes kindly given to me
by Dr Mackay afterwards.
The Sex Drive
Until 300 million years ago,
animals only reproduced asexually, and there were many advantages to
this:
-
it allows for rapid increases in
the number of individuals
-
it uses less energy
-
it requires less
time
-
it does not require a mate,
and
-
all genetic material is passed
to the next generation.
In comparison, sexual reproduction
has clear disadvantages - for example, female pandas are scarce, often
uncooperative and only fertile two days a year. Males and females seem to take a
little notice of one another.
So, I searched the biology sites
of prestigious universities like Oxford to fine what were the advantages of
sexual reproduction and the answer is not a romantic one:
It also:
Partnering
How do people choose a
partner?
Marriages are still arranged - in
whole or in part - for 60% of couples in the world. A second surprise for many
people is that in most cases parents make wise and considered choices for their
children.
When couples themselves choose,
worldwide, universally, men prefer younger women and women prefer older men. Men
prize physical attraction and youth, which they interpret as signs of fertility;
while women look for providers - for 'dads not cads.'
Men and women look for the same
top four qualities in choosing a mate:
Not everyone will find a mate.
Currently 1 in 6 men in China - about 100 million - will never find a wife. This
may be more of a threat to the stability of China than any other
factor.
How important is sex to a good
marriage? Most studies show that while good sex is important to a marriage, it
is not in the top five categories of factors that make for a happy
marriage.
Overall couples have more sex than
singles. For example, in the USA, only 15 percent of married men and women never
have sex or at most a few times a year compared with about half of single men
and women.
Hong Kong couples are more
faithful than most: only 24% of Hong Hong Konger's admit being sexually
unfaithful compared with over 40% of Americans, British, Germans and Mexicans,
36% of the French and 22% of the Spanish.
But Hong Kong men do not practice
safe casual sex: a mere 27% of 16 - 45 year olds always use a condom with a
casual partner, compared with, for example, 82% in Thailand. And Hong Kong men
are almost unique in carrying condoms in the sole of their shoes.
Divorce rates are also low: 1.6%
for men and 2.2% for women. They have been low in China also, but 2 million get
divorced each year now, double the number just 15 years ago.
Sexual
Practices
Except in a very few (5)
countries, we actually have little idea what people do in bed. Respondents of
surveys may on the one hand exaggerate e.g. their frequency of sex or conversely
underestimate other sex practices.
Some surveys only interview people
who are having sex, so the views of the sexually-inactive are not represented,
although they form a substantial segment of society. For example, in a national
survey in the USA, on third of men and women were celibate or had sex only a few
times each year. Internet surveys also are wildly atypical, as most respondents
are male and under 25 years.
Even the definition of "sex"
causes confusion, as recently demonstrated in the USA. Most people in the USA
agree with Clinton: two thirds of Americans believe that the President's
practices did not constitute "having sex."
People spend surprisingly little
time on sex. In the UK, the average person spends 3.% years of their life
eating, 2.5 years talking on the phone, but only two weeks kissing.
Married or not, people have
significantly less sex as they get older, although decline in the frequency of
sex has more to do with the length of the relationship than with
age.
In the 2000 Durex survey of
(only) sexually-active 16 - 55 year olds, the average Hong Kong
respondent had sex 84 times a year, the same as Italy. Highest was the USA at
132 and lowest Japan at 37.
Counselling
The two most common sex problems
in men are impotence and premature ejaculation and in women are lack of interest
in sex and not having an orgasm during sexual intercourse. This slide shows that
about 3 in 4 people with such problems can be substantially improved by
counselling.
I have to mention tobacco here:
smoking has a profound effect upon sex - smoking doubles the risk of impotence
and significantly reduces fertility in men and women. The Marlboro man has a
hidden Problem. (At this point our speaker produces a visual aid which could be
said to demonstrate that there might be some kinds of tobacco advertising that
should not be banned!!).
Romance
But as today is Valentine's Day,
let's look at romance. Harlequin, the publisher of romance fiction, recently
undertook a survey in 20 countries to see which were the most romantic -
men or women?
There conclusion: it's a
tie!
Some answers showed a love of
Titanic proportions; men and women were asked what would they do if they were
among those about to go down with the ship; two thirds (66% women and 57% men)
said they would take their chances together rather than splitting up so that
just one of them might live.
SIMILAR
Men (%)
Women (%)
Send gift for no
reason 40 40
Plan romantic
getaway 31
29
Left romantic voicemail
message
14
12
Fondly remember first
love
40
43
Remember first kiss as
wonderful 26
30
DIFFERENT
Send
flowers
63
38
Say their wedding day was
the best day
of their
lives
35 50
When asked, "If you were Juliet,
would you die along with Romeo, or grieve his loss but choose life?" Modern men
and women agree: 6 in 10 say they would NOT choose to die, but would opt to
stay among the living.
Like vintage wine, 68% of men and
women around the globe say their partner has become more romantic or stayed the
same since they met. Just 19% say their partner has become less
romantic.
The Future of
Sex
Sex is increasingly separated from
reproduction, by test tube babies, surrogate mothers and cloning. The immediate
future promises an era of more open attitudes and sexual practices.
But this is nothing new. History
has shown repeated cycles of liberalism and conservatism towards sex. But for
the first time, new technology will introduce undreamt of possibilities in the
sexual arena.
The Journal of the British
Interplanetary Society recently devoted a special issue to what colonists will
do when they get to the moon. Much of the issue eulogises about the marvellous
opportunities for astronomy, but the supreme experience will be
sex.
In the weaker gravity of a lunar
hotel room, the sex act will last very much longer, as people's bodies move so
much more slowly, And every lover will be six times lighter.
Now there's a thought to finish
on.
Vocational
Rtn. Neerja Sujanani, Director Vocational
Service
Fellow Rotarians,
Thank you
for agreeing to help me with this ambitious project. Honestly, it doesn't take
more than 10 minutes to type out your vocational/personal/Rotary career once you
get down to doing it. I only need 2-3 paragraphs. I completely understand that
you all have busy schedules but please do try to stick to these
schedules.
OVER-DUE On February 11th!!!
(Please email them to me ASAP
on neerjasujanani@economist.com)
Clarissa Bellstedt, Patricia Blair, Carola Chard, PP Raju,
PP Joseph, Per Larsen, Norman Liu, Rajiv
Makhija, PP Ramadasan, PE Ebe Tung, Kumar Ramanathan, Jane Singer,
Erika Taylor,
FORWARD SCHEDULE:
Balu Chainrai - Due by 8/3/01,
Kishu Chotrani - Due by 10/5/01, Diana Chou - Due by 22/2/01, Manu Chulani - Due
by 7/6/01, Elissa Cohen - Due by 5/4/01, Lal Daryanani - Due by 17/5/01, Martyn
Davies - Due by 14/6/01, Liam Drake - Due by 24/5/01, Ashok Kirpalani - Due by
1/3/01, Nanu Lachman - Due by 28/6/01, Vincent Lam - Due by 19/4/01, John Li -
Due by 19/4/01, June Liau - Due by 26/4/01, Hans Peter - Due by 12/4/01, Don
Sakhrani - Due by 29/3/01, PDG Dipo - Due by 22/3/01
Amy Shum - Due by
15/2/01, PP Louis - Due by 31/5/01, Notan Tolani - Due by 15/2/01, PP
Bryan - Due by 15/3/01, Silva Yeung - Due by 8/3/01
NEW MEMBERS:
Hello to our newest members of the
Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile. I hope that by now you have seen our club
bulletin's weekly column called "Vocational Spot". This I co-ordinate for
members to submit and helps every member get to know all the others. Do let me
know when you can send in your submissions. I need only 2-3 paragraphs;
paragraph 1 - your educational and career background; paragraph 2 - your current
vocation, how you got there and what makes your vocation different from all the
others and paragraph 3 - a little bit about your personal life, hobbies,
interests, goals, etc. If you need help at all, feel free to call me. If you
would like to see samples, do look up our website. Many thanks in advance and
welcome to the
club!