Golden News
Volume 13 - Number 50 - 19 June 2000.
The weekly newsletter of the Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile, Hong Kong.
Web site: www.rckgm.org
Happy Fathers Day !
 
The Phantom would like to wish all fathers at KGM a very Happy Fathers Day, and I hope that all sons at KGM (which, of course, means everyone of the male persuasion!), did not forget to give or send their love to their "old man" yesterday, if he is still alive.
 
As I could not attend last week's meeting I cannot report on what transpired, however I presume things went relatively smoothly, as none of my spies sent me any juicy email messages.
 
So, that's about it for the lead story. Read on !
 
Prospective New Member:
 
The Membership Committee and the Board of Directors have approved an application for Active membership proposed by PP Robin Ching in favour of Mr. S.K. Lam, Chief Accountant of Central Development Limited. The membership classification which is being loaned to him is "Property - Investment".
 
Any club member who wishes to lodge an objection to this proposal is required to do so in writing to the Club Secretary within 7 days from the date of this notice (i.e. on or before 26 June, 2000), setting out the reasons for their objection.
 
If no objections are received within the specified period (and subject to advance payment of the ruling joining fee), Mr. Lam can be inducted as an Active member of KGM on or after 28 June, 2000.
 
Updated Membership Classification List - Addendum:
 
For the benefit of those members who are STILL a bit confused, please note that our current "fine-tuning" of the KGM membership classification list means that you should ignore the classification displayed on your KGM name tag, if it is incorrect.
 
Once everybody is happy with the "official" membership classification list (as posted on the KGM web site), we will make new name tags for those members who need them.
 
Remember you only have until 30th June 2000 to check and/or query your membership classification for the current survey. To check your "updated" membership classification, just click on:
 
 
and, if you would like to request a change of classification, send US$100 in small, unmarked bills to me, once you have completed the form located at:
 
 
Simple, really !
 
Next Fellowship Event - "NINC Night":
 
Well folks, we can finally announce details of the next fellowship, as follows:

7:00 p.m. - Friday 30 June 2000
 
Rico's Spanish Restaurant,
G/F, 44 Robinson Road,
Mid-Levels,
Hong Kong.
 
The menu includes a wide selection of tapas such as salpicado, albondigas, calamares, vieiras, champinones, gambas, paella and many other Spanish delicacies which are causing considerable grief to my spell-checker, plus a selection of main courses & dessert. Yum !
 
There will be tonnes of food. There will be gallons of beer, wine, spirits and soft drinks. There will be games. There will be dancing girls frollicking shamelessly in their underwear on the tables (thanks Elissa, Ebe & Patricia !).
 
The restaurant is only a 1 minute walk from the Mid-Levels escalator which, apart from taking a taxi or rickshaw, is the best way to get there, coz there is absolutely nowhere to park (legally) near the restaurant. For those of you who insist on driving, the nearest carpark is located somewhere in Shatin.
 
GOOD NEWS - The term "Non Indian Non Chinese" means that the non-Indian and non-Chinese members of KGM are your hosts for the evening, and this is our modest way of saying "thank you" for the truly wonderful evenings our Indian and Chinese members have hosted for the rest of us earlier in the year.
 
BAD NEWS - Space is limited, so bookings for the evening will be accepted on a "first come, first served" basis.
 
So, make your booking NOW by contacting Hans "Pancho" Peter at hepp@hongkong.com or phone 9039 3094 or fax 2404 1374.
 
This is NOT a drill.
 
This Week's Speaker: Mr. Tony Cheung.
 
Topic: The Silk Road !

This Week's Birthday Celebrants:
 
20 June - Danielle "Pass the Fondue" Adams-Hausheer, who shares her birthday with sexy Australian actress Nicole Kidman, who recently starred in her hubba-hubba birthday suit in the Stanley Kubrick sexual thriller "Eyes Wide Shut", opposite hubby Tom Cruise, who clearly doesn't deserve such a fine, scrumptious woman ! Yummy !
 
21 June - The ROTARACT Club of Kowloon Golden Mile, who celebrate their 3rd birthday.
 
23 June - PP Bryan Van Dale, who shares his birthday with American actress Frances McDormand, who played the pregnant Sheriff in the offbeat Farrelly Brothers movie "Fargo". How ironic.
 
Forthcoming District & International Events:
 
29 June 2000 - District Handover Gala Banquet - Hong Kong Convention & Exhibition Centre, Wanchai North, Hong Kong.

The cost of the evening is $500 per head, however KGM will subsidise any member who wishes to attend to the tune of $300 per head, making the nett cost to members er, ah, um only $200 per head. Contact President Ram at mramadas@indocarrsec.com if you are interested in attending what will surely be a truly dignified, exciting and fun-filled event.
 
OK, so my rampant sarcasm is showing again but, just because I believe this event is the District equivalent of a Reverend Sun Myung Moon mass wedding, is no reason for you guys not to attend. Heck, even I'm attending to support incoming president Cassidy.
 
The fact that Cassidy threatened me with grievous bodily harm if I did not attend has got nothing to do with it, OK ?
 
Cool Internet Sites:

http://www.zing.com is a web site which offers you a terrific way to share photographs with other members of your family. Once you join this free service, you can upload digital photos to your on-line photo album, which can be viewed by anybody in the world to whom you give you user name and password.
 
Hence if you want to instantly share photos of little Johnny with Aunt Bertha (the one with the moustache), who lives in Canada, you simply upload the photos to your Zing photo album. This is a lot cheaper than sending prints by mail or courier PLUS you can create a permanent on-line archive of photos.
 
BTW, this service is NOT guaranteed to be 100% secure. Hence those of you who don't want the National Enquirer or Apple Daily obtaining photos of you in compromising positions with underage farmyard animals, should exercise discretion. Ahem !
 
 
KGM Web Site:
 
The new Poll which asks the question: "Should we change from lunch meetings to evening meetings ?" has been a tremendous success !
 
The KGM server has been overwhelmed with the seven, count 'em, SEVEN lousy responses received so far, which includes one from yours truly ! Sheesh, you guys are unbelievable. Hello ? HELLO ? Anybody home ???

Oh well, all your Board can do is try to come up with new ideas and get feedback.
 
Anyway, moving right along, we are pleased to report that your overworked and unpaid Webmaster, undaunted by the lethargy which is becoming increasingly evident at KGM, has dramatically improved the search functions on the KGM web site.
 
If you go to the KGM web site and click on "Search" at the very top of the page, you will be whisked at warp speed to two (2) new search facilities which are directly available from our web site.
 
The first allows you to limit your search just to the KGM web site. Let's say you remember there was an article about the passing of Past RI President Paolo Costa, but you forget where it is. Well, just type the words Paolo Costa in the space provided, click on the "Search" button and, bingo-bango, before you can say "Hey Nonny Nonny", the search engine will open a new window and highlight all the places where the name Paolo Costa appears on our web site. Pretty neat stuff, huh ?
 
Ditto for the other feature for searching the WWW which, for those of you who have been living on Uranus for the past ten years, means the World Wide Web (or, as some might say, "World Wide Wait" !).
 
Anyway, instead of having to click on a search engine, then opening a new window, then typing in your search query, you can now type your query directly onto the KGM web site.
 
OK, OK, I know, you have no bloody idea what I'm talking about, right ? Never mind. These are both good things. Trust me. I'm Australian.
 
Quote Of The Week:

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

Unknown author. 
 

Jokes Of The Week:

Joke 1: Parlez vous Franglais ?

When former French Prime Minister Charles de Gaulle decided to retire from public life, the British ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honour.

At the dinner table the British Ambassador's wife was chatting with Madame de Gaulle.

She asked: "Madame de Gaulle, your husband has been such a prominent and busy public figure on the French and international scene for so many years, retirement will surely seem very quiet in comparison. What are you most looking forward to in these retirement years?"

"A penis," replied Madame de Gaulle.

A huge hush fell over the table. Everyone heard her answer, but no one knew what to say next.

Just then, De Gaulle leaned over to his wife and said, "Ma Cherie, I believe ze English pronounce zat word, "happiness" !".

+++++++++++++++++++++

Joke 2: Only in Hong Kong

German scientists recently dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that 500 years ago the ancient Germans had a nationwide telephone network !

Naturally, the British government were not impressed, and they ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. After digging down 100 meters, they found small pieces of glass and soon thereafter they concluded that 1,000 years ago the ancient Brits  already had a nationwide fibre-optic telephone network !!

However Hong Kong Chinese scientists knew they could do better. They dug 200 meters underground, and found absolutely nothing. They concluded that 5,000 years ago the ancient Hong Kong Chinese had cellular telephones .......

+++++++++++++++++++++

Joke 3: Be careful with those email addresses !

Mr. Johnson, a businessman from New York, went on a business trip to Louisiana.

As soon as he arrived at his destination, he sent an e-mail back to his wife Mary (MaryJohnson@aol.com). However he typed the incorrect email address by inadvertently omitting the "r" in "Mary", so his e-mail went to (MayJohnson@aol.com), which belongs to Mrs. May Johnson of New Jersey, the wife of a preacher who had recently passed away.

The preacher's wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted. When she was finally revived by her daughter, she nervously pointed to the message, which read: "Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here." !

The Phantom.