Golden News
Volume 13 - Number 49 - 12 June 2000.
The weekly newsletter of the Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile, Hong Kong.
Web site: www.rckgm.org
Australian Attack !
 
Members who attended last week's meeting would have been forgiven for thinking that KGM had been the victim of an Australian Attack, which is similar to an Alien Attack, only it involves far more beer. Speaking of Australians and beer, the image on the left is an early photo of PP Joseph Kwan after he had finished his first can of Fosters.
 
Anyway, we had six visiting Rotarians last week, five of whom were from Down Under, which probably explains why Prez Ram "Bo" decided to speak slowly. Or maybe HE was drunk too. Whatever.
 
Oh yeah, our guest speaker Hans Kunz gave a very interesting talk about the Flavouring Industry, which has a greater influence on our daily lives than any of us would have previously imagined. 
 
Updated Membership Classification List:
 
For the benefit of those members who are blissfully unaware, every Rotarian is "loaned" a membership classification prior to their induction into a Rotary Club. The classification generally identifies the member's principal and recognised business or professional activity within the firm, company or institution where they are employed.

For example, if you are a Pediatrician, but you are employed as an Administrator in a hospital, the correct classification would be "Hospital - Administrator" and NOT "Medicine - Pediatrics".
 
At their last meeting, your Board approved an updated membership classification list, which was recently "fine-tuned". Members are advised to check their classification on the KGM web site by clicking on "Member's Stuff" then "Club Roster". If you are not a very Internet savvy surfer, just click the following link and you will be whisked to the right place at warp speed:
 
 
If you think your classification is incorrect or inaccurate, kindly notify the Board on or before 30 June by completing the form which can be found by clicking on "Member's Stuff", "Club Forms" or by clicking on the following link:
 
 
Next Fellowship Event:

Acting Assistant Vice Deputy Pretend Fellowship Director Hans "Knees & Boomps-A-Daisy" Peter has apparently selected the venue for the next "NINC" (Non Indian Non Chinese) night for Friday 30th June 2000, but he has decided to delay his announcement.

Apparently our beleaguered Hans was beset upon by two fellow countrypersons of the feminine persuasion at KGM, who feel they can negotiate an even better deal using typical German charm and grace (e.g. "You vill give us a better deal or you vill be shot !").
 
Anyway, a formal announcement will be made at this week's regular lunch meeting. Exciting stuff, huh ?
 
Are You Missing Stuff ??:

Members who have not received their monthly copy of "The Rotarian" magazine should firstly go to the KGM web site and click on "Rotary Links", and then complete the form which can be found on the "Update Address With Rotary International" hyperlink. Lazy (or dumb !) members can simply click on the following link to do so:
 

However if, despite having completed the form, you STILL have not received "The Rotarian" magazine each month, just send a brief e-mail to Club Secretary Nanu Lachman at nanu@lachman.com.hk and he will do his very best to rectify the situation.
 
Moreover, any member who has made a contribution to the Rotary Foundation of Rotary International but has yet to receive their certificate or other forms of recognition as a Paul Harris Fellow, are urged to send an e-mail to KGM Rotary Foundation Director Elissa "Show Me The Money" Cohen at lustrous@netvigator.com who will immediately go beat somebody up.
 
This Week's Speaker: Ms. Sally Begby.
 
Topic: Crossroads !

Hmmm. I hope this means she's going to talk about the girlie bar of the same name in Wanchai ?
 
This Week's Birthday Celebrant:
 
12 June - Miranda "King" Kong, who shares her birthday with former American President George Bush (daddy of Gee Dub-ya), and actor Jim Nabors, who played the wacky soldier in the 60's TV series "Gomer Pyle" .............. Well, GOLLLLLLLLLLLEE !
 
KGM Twinkle Toes:
 
Who would have guessed that KGM has our very own version of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers ??
 
Well, if you closely examine the photograph on the left, you will probably recognise that KGM's Twinkle Toes are none other than Kenneth "Cha Cha" So and his charming wife Alice. Their graceful lines were published in a recent issue of the Hong Kong Jockey Club member's bulletin. Yo Kenneth ........... groovy stuff, yeah baby !
 
By the way, very few members know that about 25 years and 50 pounds ago, your favorite scribe was a competitive ballroom dancer, specialising in Latin American. Prior to that, I was also an established Tap Dancer, however I had to quit after I kept falling into the sink (rim shot!).
 
Anyway, the above photograph was submitted to The Phantom by one of my daring spies (code name "Calvin Klein"), but of course I would never even hint at revealing his true identity.
 
Forthcoming District & International Events:
 
18 June 2000 - District Table Tennis Tournament - Cornwall Street Indoor Sports Centre, Kowloon Tong. Contact KGM Sports Liaison Officer PP Bryan Van Dale at bvd@pacific.net.hk if you are interested in participating.

29 June 2000 - District Handover Gala Banquet - Hong Kong Convention & Exhibition Centre, Wanchai North, Hong Kong. The cost of the evening is $500 per head, however KGM will subsidise any member who wishes to attend to the tune of $300 per head, making the nett cost to members er, ah, um only $200 per head. Contact President Ram at mramadas@indocarrsec.com if you are interested in attending what will surely be an exciting event (sorry, my rampant sarcasm is showing again !).
 
District News:
 
As most of you know (?), KGM is a (reluctant ?) part of Rotary International District 3450, which encompasses all forty-eight (48) Rotary Clubs in Hong Kong and Macau. For the trivia buffs out there, our District also originally included a number of Rotary Clubs in Taiwan too, but back then the district number was District 345 (the trailing 0 was added later).
 
Anyway, it looks like things are about to change again. The Rotary Club of Ulaanbaatar in Mongolia, the only club in that country, has petitioned Rotary International to be included within the boundaries of District 3450, a move which has been supported by District 3450 and approved by the RI Board. This change will take effect from 1 July 2000. Apparently our Mongolian friends felt a closer affinity to us than to Alaska, which is the District in which they are currently included.
 
More trivia: The RC of Ulaanbaatar meets at 12:30 p.m. on Wednesdays, just like KGM !
 
Despite being more than happy to welcome our Mongolian friends into the fold with open arms, one of my concerns was whether the inclusion of Mongolia would cause District 3450 to seek additional funding from existing member clubs (e.g. KGM !), to compensate the DG and other District officers for their travels to Mongolia on official business.
 
However I was assured in an e-mail from DG Elect John Wan that my concerns are "unfounded" because (quote): "No Rotarian of D-3450 has ever been asked to pay for expenses involved in DG's Official Visits and no one would be, in future." (unquote).
 
Cool Internet Sites:

http://www.babylon.com/ is a really cool site  from where you can download a free language translator to your computer, which can translate English into eleven different languages, including Chinese. The software also comes with a Currency Converter. Neat !

http://www.yourmobile.com/ is a web site which offers owners of Nokia cellular telephones a huge selection of ringtones which can be downloaded to your handset free-of-charge. Ringtones include national anthems, popular songs, movie and TV themes. For those of you who have Ericsson, Motorola or other lousy cellular telephones .............. nyah, nyah, nyah, NYAH, nyah !
 
KGM Web Site:
 
A new Poll has been added, which asks the question: "Should we change from lunch meetings to evening meetings ?". Just click on the "Poll" hyperlink on the top of the web page to cast your vote.

The thought occurred to the Webmaster that perhaps we could improve our attendance if KGM changed to dinner meetings, because some members have stated that it is becoming increasingly difficult to leave their office mid-day. With evening meetings, members would arguably be able to linger longer after the meeting to enjoy fellowship, without a need to "rush back to the office" or another appointment.
 
Anyway, although this poll is non-binding, at least your Board can obtain some feedback from members. Go vote ! Now !!
 
Quote Of The Week:

When asked by an interviewer on American TV to explain the primary differences between British and Americans, British comedian John Cleese (of Monty Python and Fawlty Towers fame) replied:

"Three things:

1. We speak English, and you don't;

2. When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we actually invite teams from other countries;

3. When you meet the British head of state, you only have to go down on one knee."
Joke Of The Week:

Did you hear about the terrorist who hijacked a 747 full of lawyers ?
 
He threatened to release one lawyer every hour if his demands weren't met .........
 
(With apologies to KGM legal eagles !).
The Phantom