Golden News
Volume 13 - Number 35 - 28 February 2000.

The weekly newsletter of the Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile, Hong Kong.
Web site: www.rckgm.org



Attendance Woes Yet Again !
 
Well folks, the numbers show that things have only slightly improved for KGM in Attendance terms.
 
According to the six (6) months year-to-date figures published in DG Dipo Sani-tarium's latest district newsletter, KGM achieved a dismal 59.38% for that period and we ranked a rather embarrassingly low 31st out of 48 clubs in District 3450.
 
This is NOT good. Whatsamatta with you guys, huh ? Is the food not good enough ? Are the speakers not exciting enough ? Or is it a merely a matter of the President's wardrobe which, by the way, is hand-selected by Stevie Wonder ?
 
This Rotary year is our lowest attendance year in recent memory and we MUST do something about it. No, I don't give two hoots about winning District awards, but I do know that low attendance is a bad thing because it means we are not seeing all our members on a regular basis, which is a key element of Rotary.
 
C'mon guys, let's stop being so apathetic and get back into the Rotary swing, OK ? Even yours truly who travels very frequently (in fact, I'm in Manila right now !), has managed to maintain a personal attendance in the high 70's.
 
Hell, if I can do it, so can you. C'mon, get with the program and do your bit for the club, OK ?
 
 

Farewell !
 
Sadly we are about to lose another two (2) members due to immigration (or is it repatriation ?).
 
The first is Jennifer Fox, who will be enjoying her final KGM meeting this week, before taking up full-time residence in the UK.
 
The second is Jim Smillie who, if I am not mistaken or being a tad premature, will be doing likewise towards the end of March (?).
 
On behalf of all remaining members of KGM, I wish Jennifer and Jim the very best for a safe, happy and healthy future back in ol' Blighty.
 
Perhaps we should buy them both umbrellas and Wellington boots as a parting gift ?
 
 

This Week's Speaker: Mr. Richard Witts
 
Topic: The HK Stock Exchange
 
Given the prevalent Hong Kong (and global) euphoria over "Internet" IPO's (Initial Public Offerings), perhaps we can convince Richard to help us float the KGM web site, so we can all make squillions of dollars (especially the webmaster !!) and retire.
 
Hey, it's not as dumb as it sounds. At least KGM has never lost money, unlike virtually all the other "Internet" IPO's !!
 

Next Fellowship Event: Mexican Night !
 
OK, folks, it's now official !!! Assistant Fellowship Director Hans "Pancho Villa" Peter has arranged our next fellowship as follows:
 
Date and Time: 11 March, 2000 at 7:30 p.m.
 
Venue: Coyote Bar & Grill, 114-120 Lockhart Road, Wanchai, Hong Kong.
 
Cost: Only $350 per head, which includes enormous servings of typical Mexican specialties including empanadas, quesadillas, stuffed jalapeno peppers and chicken wings of fire, all washed down with unlimited soft drinks, sangria, margueritas and beer. Ole !
 
Those of you taking the MTR (highly recommended), should take "Exit C" and turn left once you reach street level, and you will find Coyote is about 50 few metres away. Those preferring to drive can find parking in the First Pacific Bank Centre (entrance on Jaffe Road between Fenwick Street and Luard Road, opposite the new "Chinatown" bar).
 
As seating in Coyote is limited to a MAXIMUM of fifty (50) people, it will be a usual KGM case of "first to pay, first served".

If you wish to make a booking by email, contact Hans at either hepp@netvigator.com or hepp@hongkong.com however payment in full, in advance, is still required not later than 8 March in order to secure your booking.

 

This Week's Birthday Celebrants:
 
4 March - Patricia "Bam Bam" Blair, who shares her birthday with Ray "Boom Boom" Mancini, former 1980's lightweight WBA boxing champion and Mykelti Williamson, the actor who played Forrest Gump's shrimp-intensive best friend in the movie of the same name.
 
 

Forthcoming Club and District Events:
 
4 March 2000 - Assistant Governor Training Seminar, Venue Unknown !!
 
The above seminar is only for those who will be AG's commencing 1 July 2000.
 
11-12 March 2000 - President Elect Training Seminar (PETS), Miramar Hotel, Tsimshatsui.
 
The above seminar is for ALL incoming Directors of KGM who assume office on 1 July 2000.
 
12 March - Tree Planting Day and District Walk-A-Thon, Chung Sha Teng, Sai Kung.
 
Self explanatory.

 

KGM Web Site:

Members wishing to apply for shares in the forthcoming RCKGM IPO are invited to send a crossed cheque for US$10,000 payable to "Dewey Screwum & Howe", Bus Stop Number 23, Shonky Road, Lagos, Nigeria, marked for the personal attention of Hugh Jarse.
 
 

Cool Internet Sites:
 
www.babe-test.com/ is definitely a web site for KGM members of the male persuasion. It is a very clean site which challenges you to match the faces of beautiful models and actresses with their names. No prizes, but it helps to pass the time on lazy Sundays when I'm all alone at home.
 

Quote Of The Week:

"My experience in government is that when things are non-controversial and beautifully coordinated, there is not much going on".

John Fitzgerald Kennedy


Jokes Of The Week:
 
A young Scotsman is accepted by a famous English university and, after six months, his mother pays him a visit.
 
She asks: "Well son, what are your fellow students like ?".
 
To which he replies: "So far they're very weird people. The guy in the room to my left keeps banging his head against the wall each night, and the guy in the room to my right keeps scream and banging the wall with his fists all night !!".
 
So the mother asks: "And what have you done about it, son ?".
 
The son replies: "Nothing Mother, I mind my own business and just play my bagpipes." !!
 
*********************************
 
Q: What's the best thing about having Alzheimer's disease ?
 
A: You can cheat on your wife WITH your wife ! :-)
 
 

The Phantom