Golden News
Volume 13 - Number 32 - 7 February 2000.

The weekly newsletter of the Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile, Hong Kong.
Web site: www.rckgm.org


A Message From The President !
 
My dear fellow Golden Milers, greetings to you all in the year of the Dragon!

There has been an  apparent increase in our attendance in the past few weeks. However this should not be taken as an indication to reduce our efforts. I am happy to report that there is increased awareness on this issue. Let us keep up our spirits.

There have been so far 22 registrations  for the forthcoming  RI Presidential Conference. May I, however, remind the members that ATTENDING the conference is  more important than what we have done so far ! All the Directors of the board  (especially  those connected with Vocational Service, Community Service, International Service, World Community Service, Ecology-Environment-Preserve Planet Earth), please  be aware to submit the details of the projects, as the last date for the same to be made available to our Assistant Governor is 28th February 2000.

With this may I wish you all and your dear ones, a very HAPPY KUNG HEI FAT CHOI !

Yours in Rotary
RAMADASAN
PRESIDENT

 

 Help !
 
It's no wonder I'm so damn tired. For several years now, I've been blaming my lethargy on middle-age droop, poor blood, a lack of vitamins, air pollution, too much cholesterol and other similar maladies. However I just discovered the real reason why I am always tired is simply because I'm overworked.
 
Hong Kong's population is 6.5 million, however there are 1.5 million retired people, so that leave 5 million people to do all the work.
 
Then we have 2.5 million people in school or university, so that leaves just 2.5 million people to do all the work. Of course we cannot forget there are now 250,000 unemployed and another 1.25 million employed by Government, so that leaves just 1 million people to do all the work.
 
Then there are 450,000 people in prison, 350,000 people in hospitals and 199,998 illegal immigrants.
 
That leaves just 2 people to do all the work. That's YOU and ME, however you're sitting on your backside reading this !!!!
 
No wonder I'm so damned tired ...........
 
 

 Congratulations !
 
Our heartiest congratulations to Dayal Aswani who has become a grandfather again for the umpteenth time. Unfortunately I don't have any further details at the moment, however if Dayal asks you for a loan around Xmas time, you can probably imagine why !
 

Welcome Committee:  Unknown
 
 

This Week's Speaker: Unknown Topic: Unknown
  
Apparently our old mate Programme Director Brian "Honestly, I Went To Manila For Business" Hodgson is having a spot of bother finding guest speakers, and he desperately needs assistance from KGM members. At least he has the commonsense to ask !
 
If you know of anybody who is willing to speak to us OR if you would like to volunteer to give a Vocational talk to us about how you run your business or perhaps you want tell us about your hobby, please contact Brian ASAP.
 
As we have no speaker for this week (at the time of writing this bulletin), I reckon Brian should give us a talk on "Churches I Have Visited In Manila Recently", which should fill up at least 15 seconds of the speaker's time slot ...............
 

Next Fellowship Event: Mexican Night !
 
OK, it's not officially confirmed yet but Assistant Fellowship Director Hans "Pancho Villa" Peter tells me there will definitely be a fellowship evening during February, and it will involve lots of Sangria, Margueritas and a load of bull.
 
Hey, there may even be a matador too !  Watch this space ------>    <------ for further details shortly.
 
In the meantime, dust off your sombreros and castanets, gringo, 'coz it's gonna be party time real soon. Ole !


This Week's Birthday Celebrant:
 
09 February - Dayal "Grandpa" Daswani, who shares his birthday with 50's actress/singer Carmen Miranda. For those of you who are too young (or too senile) to remember, Carmen Miranda used to dance around and sing in nightclubs while balancing an enormous basket of fruit on top of her head.
 
Of course those of you who attended the Rotary International convention in Taipei a few years ago will recall that Elissa Cohen did an incredibly realistic impersonation of Carmen Miranda one evening during a Chinese meal graciously organised by PP C.K. Tsang, which consisted entirely of pig entrails, cow nostrils and other really yummy Taiwanese delicacies. Definitely a night to remember !
 

Forthcoming Club and District Events:
 
(1) 25-27 February 2000 - Rotary International Presidential Conference, Regent Hotel, Hong Kong.
 
This is a prestigious event in the Rotary Calendar which will be attended by Rotary International President Carlo Ravizza and many other RI dignitaries. This event commences on the evening of Friday 25 February, comprises a whole day session on Saturday 26 February and concludes with a half-day session on Sunday 27 February.
 
The registration fee is US$175 (HK$1,365) per person however, in an effort to support DG Dipo, your Board of Directors have agreed that the KGM General Fund will fully subsidise up to twenty (20) members of KGM to attend this important event. Members who are willing and able to attend not less than 60% of this event are invited to register their interest with President Ram.
 
Members who register but who subsequently fail to attend will be expected to reimburse the registration fee to KGM.
 
SPECIAL NOTE: KGM members who contribute US$1,000 to the Rotary Foundation of Rotary International by 31 January 2000 can receive their recognition from incumbent Rotary International President Carlo Ravizza during this conference. KGM members who are interested in making a contribution should contact KGM Rotary Foundation Director Elissa Cohen ASAP.
 
(2) 27-29 February 2000 - RC of Paranaque 25th Anniversary, Manila.
 
Due to the conflict of this event with the RI Presidential Conference above, a small delegation of four members lead by PP Vince "It's A Rotten Job But Somebody's Gotta Do It" Pinto will represent KGM in Manila at this event, with all costs borne individually by those attending. Members interested in accompanying PP Vince should contact him directly ASAP.
 
For the information of members, your Board of Directors has approved a contribution of US$5,000 towards our sister club's Cleft Lip and Palate Project, which they have pursued for a number of years now. This is an extremely worthwhile project which gives hope for a normal life to many children born with unattractive birth defects.
 

KGM Web Site:
 
Nothing major to report this week however apparently there are some members who still don't know how to navigate the KGM web site, so El Prez has asked me to spoon feed them and publish a list of incoming Directors for the 2000/2001 Rotary year, so here goes:
 
President: Cassidy Lam, Vice President (Club Service): Nanu Lachman, Vice President (Rotary Foundation): Alex Lau, Secretary: Patricia Blair, Treasurer: PP Vince Pinto, President-Elect (Fund Raising): Ebe Tung, Community Service: Silva Yeung, Vocational Service: Neerja Sujanani, International Service: Miranda Kong, Attendance: Norman Liu, Bulletin: PP Louis Thomas, Fellowship: Hans Peter, Membership: David Harilela, Program: Elissa Cohen, Rotary Information: (IPP) M.V. Ramadasan.
 
Now come here so that I can burp you !
 

Cool Internet Sites:
 
http://www.healthatoz.com/ is an excellent site for those of you who are too embarrassed to ask your local doctor about those ugly warts and other ailments you have. Very informative with numerous links to other health sites.
 
http://www.wwwomen.com/ is one of many sites dedicated to the fairer sex (i.e. women !).
 

Quote Of The Week:

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."

Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC


Joke Of The Week (Contributed by Mukesh Dayaram):

The Truth About Men and Women:
 
NICKNAMES
* If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.
* If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head & Scrappy.

EATING OUT
* When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

BATHROOMS
* A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, a razor, a bar of soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS
* Women love cats.
* Men say they love cats but, when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change but she does.

DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book and get the mail.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

APPEARANCE
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
*A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

The Phantom