Golden News
Volume 13 - Number 30 - 24th January, 2000.
The weekly newsletter of the Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile, Hong Kong.
Web site: www.rckgm.org
Last Week's Meeting - 19th January 2000.
 
Well folks, I'm still travelling and, since nobody calls me, nobody writes me and nobody sends me flowers, I have absolutely no idea what happened at last week's meeting.
 
However I did receive a report from Programme Director "The Life Of" Brian Hodgson concerning the presentation made by our guest speaker, and it seems that we are now aiming to have 60 members, 80% attendance, more contributions to the Rotary Foundation and our club will strive to be more jovial and friendly. We should also make PE "Sundance" Cassidy Lam our next club President.
 
Yes. Well. There you have it. A whole new concept for us to consider.
 
Welcome Committee:
 
This column closed due to a lack of interest.
 
This Week's Speaker: Mr. Todd Krause
 
Topic: Insolvency Update for Directors
  
This Week's Birthday Celebrant:
 
30 January - Jennifer "Dr. Doolittle" Fox, who shares her birthday with Oscar award-winning actor Gene Hackman and former US President Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

 
Last Fellowship Event: Indian Night

Well there was a bunch of Indians and, presumably, the odd cowboy or two in attendance, and the night was a rip-roaring success, as usual.
 
Although I could not attend this event, I am very confident that our generous Indian members provided the other KGM members with yet another fantastic evening, with copious amounts of food, drink and general merriment.
 
On behalf of the Western and Chinese members of KGM, I extend our heartfelt thanks and appreciation to our Indian members for their fantastic efforts.
 
Forthcoming Club and District Events:
 
(1) 25-27 February 2000 - Rotary International Presidential Conference, Regent Hotel, Hong Kong.
 
This is a prestigious event in the Rotary Calendar which will be attended by Rotary International President Carlo Ravizza and many other RI dignitaries. This event commences on the evening of Friday 25 February, comprises a whole day session on Saturday 26 February and concludes with a half-day session on Sunday 27 February.
 
The registration fee is US$175 (HK$1,365) per person however, in an effort to support DG Dipo, your Board of Directors have agreed that the KGM General Fund will fully subsidise up to twenty (20) members of KGM to attend this important event. Members who are willing and able to attend not less than 60% of this event are invited to register their interest with President Ram.
 
Members who register but who subsequently fail to attend will be expected to reimburse the registration fee to KGM.
 
SPECIAL NOTE: KGM members who contribute US$1,000 to the Rotary Foundation of Rotary International by 31 January 2000 can receive their recognition from incumbent Rotary International President Carlo Ravizza during this conference. KGM members who are interested in making a contribution should contact KGM Rotary Foundation Director Elissa Cohen ASAP.
 
(2) 27-29 February 2000 - RC of Paranaque 25th Anniversary, Manila.
 
Due to the conflict of this event with the RI Presidential Conference above, a small delegation of four members lead by PP Vince "It's A Rotten Job But Somebody's Gotta Do It" Pinto will represent KGM in Manila at this event, with all costs borne individually by those attending.
 
KGM Web Site:
 
Nothing new to report this week.
 
Netiquette:
 
I would like to remind KGM members of three important Internet issues:
 
1) Email Attachments - As advised to you in a previous issue, NEVER open (double-click) ANY attachment you receive in an email message without firstly scanning it with a current version anti-virus program, even if you receive the email from a trusted source. In the last two weeks I have received five (5) potentially computer-devastating viruses in email attachments, however due to my anally retentiveness, I averted disaster by scanning and eradicating the viruses before opening the files. Remember you cannot get a virus simply by receiving an email; you need to be a dumb schmuck and open an infected attachment to launch it !
 
I highly recommend Norton Anti-Virus 2000 (also called Norton Anti-Virus 6), which actually scans email attachments as they are being downloaded. This program is about HK$600 and is the best money I ever spent on computer software. Go buy it. NOW !
 
2) Get-Rich-Quick Emails - I receive at least six (6) SCAM emails every day offering me a variety of investment opportunities that will make me a multi-millionaire in seven days or less. These range from Internet opportunities which are being offered to me (by some joker who doesn't know me from Adam), because I am a "discerning individual" to emails from Nigerians scamsters who have, in each case, recently discovered a few billion dollars in the Nigerian Government Treasury, which they desperately want to share with me (yes folks, even those crooks have now joined the 20th century).
 
When you receive such offers, you have a delete button on your email program. Use it. Immediately.
 
3) Chain Emails - These are more irritating than harmful, but they are a great way to really annoy your friends. My favorite is the one which says if I forward the email to 47 friends, the nice people at Microsoft or AOL will send me bucket loads of money.
 
However it amazes me how many otherwise intelligent and self-employed people (including members of KGM), who have forwarded these to me with the comment "Hey, what have we got to lose?". Well folks, the answer is: My bloody patience !
 
Please DO NOT forward chain emails. You would probably not forward ones you receive by post (please say "Of course not!"), so do not think that just because it is easier to do so by email, that you should suddenly become brain-dead, OK ? Thanks !
 
KGM Web Site:
 
Nothing new to report this week.
 
Quote Of The Week:

"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."

Winston Churchill

Joke Of The Week:
 
A woman goes to the doctor and complains her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill but warns her it is still experimental. He advises her to mix it into his mashed potatoes at dinner.

About a week later she returns to the doctor and tells him, "The pill worked really great. I put it in his mashed potatoes like you said and five minutes later he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, he grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off and then he ravaged me right there on the table."

The doctor replied, "I'm sorry, we didn't realize the pill was THAT strong. The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages."
 
To which the lady replied, "Naah, that's okay. We aren't planning to go back to Hugo's anyway."
 
 
The Phantom