Golden News
Volume 13 - Number 17 - 25th October 1999
The weekly newsletter of the Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile, Hong Kong.
Web site: www.rckgm.org
X Files !
 
Did it really happen, or am I dreaming ? Did President Ram "Bo" FINALLY manage to end a meeting on time at 2:00 p.m. ??? Quick, somebody pinch me.
 
It's true ?? You mean it really happened ??? Naaah. I don't believe it. I say it was all smoke and mirrors !
 
In that case, who was that evil-looking guy running our meeting last week, and what has he done with our beloved President ? Has there been a ransom demand yet ?? Are we gonna pay ??? Should we ask Mulder and Sculley to investigate ???? Will Ally McBeal ever find true love ?
 
These questions (and more) will be answered in a future issue, because .........
 
Roving Reporter:
 
This and the next issue of Golden News will be created and despatched to you from the tropical paradise of Mactan Island, Cebu, Philippines, where I will be marooned until the first week of November.
 
For those of you who don't already know, your intrepid Bulletin Editor is an active proponent of the sport of Practical Shooting (as governed by the International Practical Shooting Confederation "IPSC"), and our 12th tri-annual IPSC World Championships are being held in Cebu for the first time this year.
 
Apart from being Chairman of the Hong Kong Practical Shooting Association, Regional Director of IPSC Hong Kong and manager of the 20 member "Team Hong Kong", I have also been an advisor to the organising committee for this major competition, which involves over 750 shooters from 50 countries, and the next two weeks will be the culmination of our work over the last three years.
 
Of course this also means I will be missing a couple of KGM meetings, however I have appointed a few spies who will hopefully send me their reports on our meetings, so that I can continue to make snide comments about the intrigues at KGM. Bwa-ha-ha-ha !!!
 
Congratulations:
 
(1) To KGM Club Advisor PP Larry Parmanand and his wife Mita on the 20 October 1999 birth of their grandchild, proudly created by their son Dilip Parmanand and his wife Varina.
 
(2) To Assistant Governor and KGM PP Louis Thomas on his election as a member of the Nominating Committee for the 2001/2002 District Governor for District 3450.
 
(3) To one of our favorite ladies (and Field Hockey Aficionado Extraordinaire) Terese Thomas, for surviving 27 years of marriage to PP Louis Thomas. What a woman ! Hat's off to you Terese, for your incredible patience and stamina.
 
And Lou, I'm sure you know this already, but you are one of the luckiest guys on this planet.
Welcome Committee:
 
On duty this week are Jennifer "Jungle Jane" Fox and Kumar "Rumpole" Ramanathan.
 
This Week's Speakers: Christopher Hall
Topic: Chinese Textiles
 
This Week's Birthday Celebrants:
 
Well, we certainly have a busy week this week:

24 October - Hans Peter, who shares his birthday with Kevin Kline (of "A Fish Called Wanda" fame) and Monica Lewinsky (of "Look Ma, No Hands" fame).

25 October - Mazhar Sultana and Bhagwan Khemlani, who share their birthdays with Helen Reddy (of "I Am Woman" fame) and Pablo Picasso (of "Boy, Do I Have A Huge Nose And Make Weird Paintings" fame) respectively.

27 Gopal Nihalani, who shares his birthday with John Cleese (of "Fawlty Towers" fame).

28 Liam Drake, who shares his birthday with His Microsoftness, The Grand Pubah Of Silicon Valley, Bill Gates.
 
Next Fellowship Event: Chinese Night & Karaoke !
 
Well folks I finally received details of our forthcoming Chinese Night, which is as follows:
 
Date and Time: 20 November, 1999 at 7:30 p.m.
 
Venue: Sze Chuen Lau, UG/F, South Seas Centre, 77 Mody Road, Tsimshatsui East.
 
Ample parking is available in the building and nearby at Chinachem Plaza and New Mandarin Plaza.
 
It's still a case of good news (it's free to non-Chinese members) and bad news (there's karaoke), but I say the good news outweighs the bad news, even considering that PP Robin "Willie" Ching and PP Cassidy "Julio" Lam may give us their joint rendition of "To All The Girls I've Loved Before".
 
Forthcoming Club & District Events:
 
1) Vocational Service Seminar - 26 October 1999 - TOMORROW !
 
This will be hosted by the RC of Peninsula (during their regular Tuesday lunch meeting), at the Hong Kong Hotel. Contact KGM Vocational Service Director Miranda Kong at miranda@clotex.com.hk or by telephone to 9199 3077 if you would like to attend.
 
2) District Tennis Tournament - 30 October 1999 - SATURDAY !
  
This evening event will be hosted under lights by the RC of Hongkong Bayview at the Club de Recreio, King's Park, Kowloon. If you would like to form a team, contact KGM Sports Liaison Officer PP Bryan Van Dale at bvd@pacific.net.hk or by telephone to 9481 5586.
 
3) KGM Fund-Raising Walkathon - 5 December 1999
 
This will be held on Sunday 5 December 1999, commencing from the sitting-out area above Wong Nei Chung Gap and ending 4 miles and about 2 hours later at Tai Tam Tuk Village (200 metres north of Tai Tam Scout Sea Activities Centre).
 
The route will commence uphill with what PP Louis describes as a "minor incline" towards Parkview (i.e. steeper than the lobby of the Holiday Inn but less than climbing Mount Everest !). The remainder of the route is either flat or downhill on rendered surfaces or country paths, and the route passes through the most beautiful country park in Hong Kong.
 
Anyway, your club hopes that this event will be the sole Fund Raising event of the year, and we expect that every member will raise (or contribute) not less than the paltry sum of $2,000 in sponsorship. Official KGM Sponsorship Forms will be available soon.
 
If we don't achieve our Fund-Raising target with this event, we will need to embark upon additional fund-raising activities, so please support this event and maybe we can leave you alone for the rest of the year, OK ?
 
Etiquette:
 
No, not my usual article about the Internet. This time I want to make a brief commentary about etiquette (i.e. manners and common courtesy), during KGM lunch meetings.
 
Folks, I realise we all look forward to seeing each other every week, and we all enjoy each other's company, however recently there seems to be an increasing amount of noisy chattering and cellular telephones ringing as the President and other people are speaking, and this is extremely rude.
 
I therefore ask that you have the courtesy to listen to the announcements and to help us to keep order during meetings by asking our more noisy members (and guests) to "Shhhhh" if they become a bit boisterous.
 
It would also be nice if we could all turn our cellular telephones OFF during meetings, or at least put them on vibration mode and, if your telephone happens to vibrate during a meeting, all you need to do is discreetly leave the room to answer your call.
 
Thanks.
 
KGM Web Site:
 
Nothing really new to report this week, because the poor modem speeds in Cebu makes it virtually impossible for your Webmaster to make changes to the KGM web site.
 
Cool Internet Site Of The Week:
 
Ditto.
 
Quote Of The Week:
 
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy".
 
Henry Kissinger
 
Joke Of The Week:
 
A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his former accountant.
 
The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The accountant does not answer. The Godfather asks again, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?"
 
The attorney interrupts, "Excuse me, Godfather, but the man is a deaf mute and he cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you."
 
The Godfather says, "Well ask him where my damn money is!" The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where he has hidden the 3 million dollars.
 
The accountant signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He doesn't know what you are talking about."
 
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, "Ask him again for the last time where he has hidden my damn money!"
 
The attorney signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is, or else!" The accountant signs back, "OK! OK! OK! The money is hidden in a brown suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!".
 
The Godfather says, "Well, what did he say?"
 
The attorney replied to the Godfather, "He said 'Go to hell, you don't have the guts to pull the trigger'."
The Phantom