Golden News

Volume 13 - Number 09

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The weekly newsletter of the Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile, Hong Kong.

Web site: www.freez.com/kgm

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RAINY DAYS AND WEDNESDAYS !

Boy oh boy. The weather in Hong Kong has really been miserable and depressing over the past week. First we had a signal 8 strength typhoon on Sunday, followed by two days of red and black storm warnings. Of course the Hong Kong Observatory issued their usual cryptic announcements, which only served to further complicate Hong Kong's already congested transport situation.

The timing and extent of the bad weather warnings was so poor that my staff were as confused as a drunken male porno star - they didn't know whether they were supposed to be coming or going. Ahem.

Nonetheless, KGM's regular meeting went ahead as usual, undaunted by the climatic chaos. President Ram "Bo" was in his usual form, which means he was wearing a striped suit, a check shirt, a polka-dot tie, green socks and brown shoes. Is he making a fashion statement ? Does he wish to boldly offer an alternative to current fashion conventions ? Is he simply a fashion eccentric ? Nope. He is just colour-blind and an arrest by the Fashion Police is imminent. This man needs help. Urgently. Any volunteers ?

According to President Ram, his fashion advisor is IPP Raju "Do I have a deal for you" Daswani, who was wearing a tie which looked like it was made from the remnants of somebody's sofa and a Rotary 2000 theme pin which was as big as a bagel.

Talking about fashion, Elissa "Style By Elsa Klensch" Cohen was absolutely resplendent in a pastel blue Chanel dress, accented by a brilliant sea of gold and diamond jewellery, a classic Cartier watch, an elegant black Louis Vuitton handbag and a pair of white Nike tennis shoes. Hmmm.

Yes sir. KGM members are undoubtedly THE fashion gurus of District 3450.

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There are two primary conditions under which a Rotarian's membership in a Rotary club will automatically be terminated for non-attendance. These are:

1)  Failure to attend (or make up) four *consecutive* regular club meetings;

2) Failure to attend (or make up) 60 percent of regular club meetings in each six (6) month period (July to December and/or January to June each year);

In either case, the club assumes that the member has terminated his or her membership in the club *without notice*, unless the club Board of Directors has previously agreed to excuse the member's non-attendance for good and sufficient reason.

When a Rotarian misses four consecutive meetings or disregards other attendance requirements, this is considered tantamount to the member offering his resignation from the club. Hence, when a club records the termination of a member for non-attendance, it is simply an acceptance of a resignation and *not* a punitive action by the club.

All Rotarians know the consequences of non-attendance, so it clearly becomes a conscious decision by a Rotarian to withdraw from the club when they fail to fulfill the attendance requirements.

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LAST WEEK'S SPEAKER: Bruce Gilley (FEER).
c: China's President Jiang Zemin.

Our speaker is obviously a well informed "China Watcher", and he gave a very interesting talk about the Presidency of Jiang Zemin, who has generally been a positive force for China, but who nevertheless lacks the overall authority and political power of previous leaders such as Mao Tse Tung or Deng Xiao Ping.

Our resident multi-jurisdictional legal-eagle VP Alex "The Visa Man" Lau was asked to give the vote of thanks, but he ended up giving us another talk on Jiang Zemin and China.

We were thinking about asking another member to give VP Alex a vote of thanks, but we just ran out of time !

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THIS WEEK'S SPEAKER: ??

Topic: ??

OPTIMIST: This week we have a mystery speaker of such magnitude, importance and notoriety, that we cannot announce their name or their topic of discussion for fear of being inundated by hordes of visitors and reporters.

PESSIMIST: Ah, er, um, we don't actually have anyone yet, and the Program Committee are still desperately trying to find someone to come talk to us.

According to Ladbrokes, the current odds are 2 to 1 in favour of the pessimists ! :-)

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NEXT FELLOWSHIP EVENT - 1st Reminder !

WHERE: FAT ANGELO'S, the hot new critically-acclaimed Italian restaurant at G/F, 414 Jaffe Road (corner Canal Road), Causeway Bay. Ample parking is available at nearby Elizabeth House.

WHEN: 8:30 p.m., Saturday, 11 September 1999. (They have two sittings each evening, so we have opted for the later one.)

WHY: If you have to ask this question, you wouldn't understand the answer.

EMMA CHISIT: $350 per head (if paid by Wednesday, 8 September, otherwise it is $400 per head - NO exceptions !)

WHAT YOU GET: Enormous servings of great Italian food including 3 appetisers, minestrone soup, 7 main courses, 4 desserts, unlimited beer, wine, soft drinks and brewed coffee during dinner (if you arrive early or want spirits and/or exotic coffee, a cash bar is available).

What a fantastic deal !!! (or, as they say in Italy: "Eh Luigi, watta fantastico deal-o, pisano ?").

WEB SITE: http://www.fatangelos.com/ (Check it out - nice web site, which includes a location map and reviews).

Bookings and payment to Hans "The Hun" Peter, Norman "El Capo" Liu or Vinny "Da Knife" Pinto.

For information on other club fellowship events currently being planned, just visit the KGM web site and click on "Club Calendar" under "Member's Stuff".

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NEXT BOARD MEETING:

Club Directors are reminded that the next Board meeting will be convened at 6:30 p.m. at the 2/F of the Holiday Inn Golden Mile on Tuesday 7th September.

Directors who cannot personally attend are required to send a written report to the President or Secretary not later than midday of the day of the meeting,

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KGM WEB SITE:

Slowly, slowly catchy Monkey !

Well folks, our new domain name www.rckgm.org is up and running on a local ISP, but there is nothing much to see there yet except for a bunch of directories. This is because your wonderful and talented Webmaster is having, as the English would say, "A spot of bother" trying to upload the necessary files via FTP (File Transfer Protocol), basically because he has forgotten how to do it !

Anyway he is going back to do a refresher course at Webmaster school and hopefully everything will be sorted out by this time next week.

In the meantime, if you hear unusual screams (or the sound of a computer being disemboweled), emanating from the general direction of Lai Chi Kok, there is no need to call 999.

It's just your Webmaster having another one of his mid-life crises .........

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NETIQUETTE - Important Y2K News.

Despite what the mass media have been saying, the "Y2K" problem actually refers to the "YKK" brand of zipper (Y plus 2 K's).

At the stroke of midnight on 31st December 1999, all YKK brand zippers will cease to function as intended. Thus, in order to obviate a potentially hazardous Y2K problem, you must decide whether to leave your zipper permanently in the open or closed position.

Men are urged *not* to make this important decision whilst actually in a men's room with an open zipper at midnight, because the Y2K problem may cause an open zipper to close unintentionally. If you have seen the movie "There's something about Mary" there is no need to remind you of the potential repercussions of such foolishness ("Paramedic to base, we've got a bleeder !").

On the other hand, women attending formal events on 31st December are actively encouraged to wear gowns with long YKK zippers attached to the rear in the closed position !