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Golden News
Volume 18, Number 3 - Monday 19 July
2004
The official bulletin of the Rotary
Club of Kowloon Golden Mile is published
most Mondays and is distributed to all club members, District officials and to "friends of KGM". Winner "Best English Language Bulletin" in District 3450, 2001/2002 This Week's Meeting:
At the time of sending out this week's Golden News,
we're blissfully unaware of the identity of our guest speaker or the topic for this week.
Of course we really hate when that happens but, hey, Doo-Doo (a.k.a. "Ka-Ka") does indeed happen! ++++++
From Under The Kitchen
Sink: Our spy in the Holiday Inn kitchen, Vincent "You Want Fries With That?" Lam,
informs us that this week's fare is Chinese
food, namely assorted dim sum platter, sautéed pea pods
& lily buds with soya bean sauce, sautéed sliced pork with vegetables,
beans & green peppers, braised bean curb with chili sauce, sweet &
sour chicken, vegetarian Singaporean fried rice, petit four Chinois,
sesame seed balls, sago cream with melon, coffee or tea.
Milestones: Birthday
greetings for: 21 July to PDG Dipo Sani, who shares
his 60th birthday with
another, er, "Ancient Flatulent", famous singer/songwriter Yusuf
Islam (formerly known as "Cat Stevens").
Who knew old
Dipo was, well, so bloody old? He hasn't changed a bit in
the 20 years that I've known him. OK, except for having less hair.
And, yes, the little hair remaining is mostly grey. Sure, he's not as
tall as he used to be either. And he's gained some weight. OK, he's lost a
few teeth too but, apart from those minor things, he hasn't changed a
bit.
No wait. His memory is getting worse, and
he can't see so good anymore and .......... <SLAP>
(Editor: Enough
already!)
++++++
KGM Induction Anniversary greetings to:
Liam "Daffy"
Drake who was inducted
into KGM 13 years
ago on 24 July 1991.
Of course, back then, Liam had more
hair on his head than hair protruding from his ears and .......
<snip>
(Editor: Do you want another
slap?)
Semi-Annual Dues: 166th
Reminder
Yes folks, it's time once again to pay your dues of $1,500 for the period 1 July to 31 December 2004, and you have two payment options: 1) By cash handed directly to KGM Treasurer Rajiv "Show Me The Money" Makhija; 2) By cheque payable to "Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden
Mile" mailed to P.O.
Box 98129, Tsimshatsui, Kowloon.
If you elect to pay by cheque, remember to clearly write your name on the back of the cheque,
because our overworked and unpaid Treasurer doesn't always know which
company name belongs to which
member. Next BOD
Meeting: TONIGHT
KGM BOD Members are reminded that the first BOD meeting of the new Rotary year will be held at 6:30 p.m., Monday 19 July 2004, at the 2/F, Holiday Inn Golden Mile hotel. If you can't attend and
haven't already advised President Silva
"Dollar" Yeung on 9408 1198 or Secretary Mazhar "Bizarre" Sultana on 9303
8881, call
them.
Like, NOW, dude! Fellowship News: LAST
CALL
Our sweet young thang KGM Fellowship Director Diana "Swims Like A Rock" Yeung, and her faithful sidekick Vincent "Le Bone Bender" Lam remind members that the next fellowship event will be the "Le French Kissing" night. This will be held from 7:00 p.m. on Saturday 24 July at "GIGI" restaurant, the little tete-a-tete,
ménage-a-mucho, Froglais restaurant operated by Miranda "King" Kong and hubby Tony "Inspector Clouseau" Leung at the Girl
Guide's Headquarters in Austin Road, Tsimshatsui.
Apparently Le Food will be Tres Bon, Le Vin will be
flowing like Le Rive Gauche, and there will be Les Dancing girls,
including PE Elissa "Can-Can" Cohen, PP Ebe "Le Tush" Tung. IPP Patricia
"Les Pasties" Blair and, of course, Susie "Madame Le Lash" Misini.
BTW, there's STILL no mention of the price for Le Dinner
in the (now) 24 emails sent
out previously by our old mate Vincent but, hey, it's Miranda & Tony's
place, right, so it'll be Le Bon deal. If not, we can beat Vincent to
death with Le Breadsticks and Les Croissants.
To reserve votre place, contactez vous Vincent on Le Fone 9045
6871.
(Editor: Enough already with the
French nonsense, OK?).
District 3450 News & Events:
Thanks to the
sharp eyes and keen sense of smell of our old mate PP Herbert Lau (formerly of the RC Tai Po),
we offer further belated
congratulations to the following
Rotarians in District 3450 who were each recognised on the
Honours List on 1 July
2004:
Silver Bauhinia
Star: PP Jeffrey Lam, JP (RC Hong Kong North) & PP
Andrew Leung, JP (RC Tsuen Wan).
Bronze Bauhinia
Star: PP Deborah Wan, JP (RC
Queensway)
Medal of
Honour: PP William Wong (RC Tsuen Wan), PP Stephen Yip (RC
Kowloon East) & PP Stanley Lau (RC Kwai
Chung)
Justice of the
Peace: PP Leung Kwong Kin (RC Kowloon East)
Upcoming District 3450 events:
STOP PRESS - Future
gossip: This year's round of election shenanigans for
District Governor 2006-2007
have already begun. Watch this space for all the juicy gossip about
how our District Demagogues will, as usual, make a "Canine's Evening
Meal" out of it all yet again. You know the drill - a Club with 7 members
gets 1 vote and a Club with 57 members gets 2 votes etc.
Rotary
International News:
New: Download your personal copy of
"Rotary World" - here. Repeat:
Visit the web pages of RI President Glenn E.
Estess - here Repeat:
July is Rotary International's Literacy Month - information.
Repeat:
Order the Rotary Centennial
book online - here
In other RI news: 1. Learn about the various Rotary International Programs on the RI
website - details.
2. Read all about the ongoing plans for the
RI Centennial in 2005 -
details.
Rotary Information: Rotary's Wheel Emblem: A wheel has been the symbol of Rotary since our earliest days. The first design was made by Chicago Rotarian Montague Bear, an engraver who drew a simple wagon wheel, with a few lines to show dust and motion. The wheel was said to illustrate “Civilization and Movement.” Most of the early clubs had some form of wagon wheel on their publications and letterheads. Finally, in 1922, it was decided that all Rotary clubs should adopt a single design as the exclusive emblem of Rotarians. Thus, in 1923, the
present gear wheel with 24 cogs and six spokes was adopted by the Rotary
International Association. A group of engineers advised that the gear
wheel was mechanically unsound and would not work without a “keyway” in
the center of the gear to attach it to a power shaft. So, in 1923, the
keyway was added, and the design which we now know was formally adopted as
the official Rotary International emblem.
From
The Web (and WAP) Monster:
Your Grumpy (but nonetheless cuddly and lovable) Web
Monster is delighted to announce yet
another first for KGM. Yes folks, if I'm not
mistaken, KGM is the first Rotary Club
in District 3450 to offer a WAP site?
What's that, you ask? Well, in very simple terms, a WAP site is basically a small website which you can access and view from your cellular telephone. All you need to have is GPRS configured on your cellular telephone
(ask your service provider for details) and, bingo bango, suddenly you're
a cool WAP surfer dude. Sure, the information can't be as extensive as a
website but, each week, you can at least see:
-:and, of course, a silly riddle-type question and
answer.
The address of the new KGM WAP site is http://wappy.to/rckgm and, depending on
the model telephone you use, you access your GPRS connection from the
"Services" or a similar menu.
Please note though that this is just a trial in order
to get member feedback (hence the funny "wappy" address and "wappy" logo -
it's a free service). However if you think this is a worthwhile
improvement, then I'll actually create a special WAP page linked
to our website. Give it a try and let me know what you think.
By the way, if you'd like a "Bookmark" sent to you (just like the
"Favorites" in your web browser), just send an SMS Text to the WAP Monster on +852 9011
0088 (or email
him with your cellular telephone number), and he will happily
send it to you by return SMS text, to save you having to type it
out.
Golden Smile: THE FIVE STAGES OF
DRUNKENNESS:
Stage 1 -
CLEVER: This is when you suddenly become an expert on
every subject in the known universe. You know you know everything and you
want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage
you're always right. And, of course, the person you are talking to is very
wrong. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are
CLEVER.
Stage 2 -
ATTRACTIVE: This is when you realize that you're the most
ATTRACTIVE person in the entire bar and that everyone fancies you. You can
walk up to a perfect stranger knowing that they fancy you and really want
to talk to you. Bear in mind that you're still CLEVER, so you can talk to
this person about any subject under the sun.
Stage 3 -
RICH: This is when you suddenly become the RICHEST person
in the room. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have a
bottomless wallet. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course
you are still CLEVER so, naturally, you will always win. Anyway, it
doesn't matter how much you bet because you are RICH. You will also
buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, in the knowledge that you are
clearly the most ATTRACTIVE person present.
Stage 4 -
INVINCIBLE: You are now ready to pick fights with anyone
and everyone, especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing.
This is because you are now INVINCIBLE. At this point you can also go up
to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge them to a battle
of wits or strength. You have no fear of losing this battle, because as
well as being INVINCIBLE you are CLEVER, you're RICH and you're more
ATTRACTIVE than them anyway.
Stage 5 -
INVISIBLE: This is the final stage of drunkenness. At this
point you can do anything, because you are now INVISIBLE. You can dance on
a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people
in the room cannot see you. You can also kiss the face off them for the
same reason. You are also INVISIBLE to the people who want to fight you.
You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because
no one can see or hear you and because you're still CLEVER you know all
the words.
Quotable Quotes:
"The difference between sex and death is that with
death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of
you.".
Woody Allen Bumper Sticker Of The Week:  If you want to save the bumper sticker for use in email or on a website, put your mouse pointer over the top, right-click, and select "Save Picture As". The
Phantom
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If you no longer wish to receive this bulletin each week, unsubscribe. For previous issues of the bulletin (or to view them in their full HTML glory), visit our archives. © 2004 Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile. All rights reserved. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed herein are those of the author (who is under heavy medication), and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of any other member of the club.